Monday, October 12, 2009
Blackspectrum is official closed for a month
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
At world's end
"When panic runs amok, and urgency turns into desperation, to strike fear in every cell of one's body, will he discover that he has truly ruined himself through his own disintegrated self confidence, and tragically undermined his real potential."
-Blackspectrum's Self Reflections about his Prelims, and perhaps all major examinations that he has sat for--
Yes, after nearly a month of not logging into my blogger account, here I am again.
The mounting stress has taken a toll on everyone, I'am sure.
However, to work so hard and yet yield any visible results is simply infuriating, unsatisfying and ultimately demoralising. At least, that has been my experience so far.
All it has churned out is weariness and a changing view on how one perceives failure and success.
The very natural way for people to do it is to just label one according to the mark they have on their papers.
But is it, the best way to do it?
I feel stretched in everyway possible right now, and the bad news is its probably not the darkest hour yet.
Just two forthnights away, and I'll be sitting for the most testing moment in my educational path.
Which unfortunately will dictate where I go, what I do, and who I will be as I proceed up on the stairways of adulthood.
I do not deny, I have high hopes for myself.
Its just a basic requirement most people want for themselves.
Dignity.
We want to do well.
We feel the urge to outdo and outrun.
It is Darwin's Theory of Evolution.
Survival of the fittest.
And we enslave ourselves in the strictest of ways...discipline ourselves with the most unthinkable of methods.
And at the end road, we reach a final destination that we sometimes find deeply troubling and dangerously disturbing.
Thing is, it doesnt really lead anywhere, this mindless pursuit of qualifications.
But we jump in anyway, trapped in the whirlpool of forces in the form of societal expectations, peer pressure and the need for some self worthiness.
Maybe all we can do is to hang on to something sturdy so that we can not get sucked too deeply in.
On the other hand, the A lvls are ariving at full force, Clar.
You know that you have no choice.
You know that you have to take the dive.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Friday, September 04, 2009
My life has been torn asunder,
and I cannot do anything to stop the fissure ripping through everything I do.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
And now, for the take off.
Bless You.