blackspectrum

The End of Eras

2011-07-09T14:33:00.002+08:00

Its been eons since I last posted, and sad to say, the only trigger for a need for some written discourse was actually pure boredom on a very empty Saturday morning.
Bank account is quite empty you see, hence the self imprisonment at home.

As time progresses,
there are changes slowly impacting my life.
Benign?
No.

One Man Again

I was joined in recent months in my weekly volleyball games, by my seniors of BP sec. Before that, I was a lone ranger in a very foreign environment. I played in a team with people, yes, never truly felt that way though. Fortunately I made a recommendation to the boss which saw the likes of YY, Shawn, Gavin, Teck Liang, Sim and Erin taking up jobs that will ultimately encourage them to play with me and by me, and suddenly, it was easier to enjoy every game I played.

You guys have been a great inspiration in court, a certain motivation and a bunch of very good friends.

And now that they are packing and off to higher education, they leave me at where I just started.
All the best guys! =)

But the real blow will truly come when Mr Peh departs, I never wanna see that happen but it inevitable that he does, but he told us before, in the front seat of his car, that there will be other things to look forward to in life; that we should always be optimistic and anticipate the window that opens when another one shuts.

Hopefully the window will shut only after my ORD, what I am to do do without volleyball at night on weekdays!?

Elementary Woes

Receiving my Japanese test results presented me a tough choice,
shall it be Intermmediate 1?

Money wasnt the problem, commitmment was.

I will have to sit through another 8 lessons, with a whole new class of promoted elementary 2 students, and adapt to a more difficult set of lesson materials.

Scary shit.

Not to mention a different sensei.
I am not shy, I am just worried that I will understand the first word coming out from her rapid fire mouth after she finsishes reading aloud the entire passage of the textbook page.

I'll have to make a deicision fast though, the next batch of Intemmediate 1 lessons will kick off August 2nd.
Thats not a lot of days left.

Wanted to type more but, WHERE GOT TIME?!?!?!

Thanks alot for reading though.

2010-11-05T16:18:00.003+08:00

Blackspectrum has relocated to 'theillusionist44.wordpress.com'

2010-08-09T14:43:00.001+08:00

The world has forgotten.

2010-07-31T12:12:00.001+08:00

I was feeling abit like it today, so i stole my sister's DSLR and snapped a few shots of my little precious in various angles. And I impressed myself with my skills! hahaha. This are my top 4 picks of the day~ =)

2010-07-29T00:04:00.003+08:00

Strange, strange, strange.
The world has been abuzz with some pretty bewildering news lately, if not downright funny.
Gosh, even the tragic news appears hilarious.
Not sure what I'am referring to?
Then you gotta check out this excerpt.

"Police are hoping an autopsy will explain what caused a man to slump over in his chair and die while watching a screening of “The Twilight sage: ECLIPSE at a Wellington cinema."

Did you read that?
Someone actually passed away in a cinema watching Twilight?!?!
Guess Edward really did suck the life of someone then.
Poor thing.

Even better, while browsing facebook just few moments ago,
I came across this study that produced some startling conclusions about the apparent health benefits of ogling at women's breasts.

" A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy. According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years. She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out." The researchers declared that sexual desire gives rise to better blood circulation that signifies an overall improved health."

Whoa whoa hold on a second.
Do you mean just the presence of that girl-standing-in-the-train can possibly be the panacea for YOUR unhealthly lifestyle?
Is she the one to replace your treadmill and all your fitness workouts?
If it is,
I'am so totally going for it man.

Come on guys,
lets face it.
this HAS to be a cause for a celebration!
How can you ever find

In fact, we need to create an instruction manual.

Prototype 1:

Lee's guide to YOUR fantasy workout!

Before embarking on this magical journey,
it is important to note the safety precautions for it, as it is for every fitness activity.
There are numerous things that needs to be highlighted.
Extra caution is needed before undertaking this fun but potentially hazardous workout, especially for these personnel.

1) You're married.
2) You exercise with your girlfriend.
3) Your mum is watching.

In these rare situations,
dunt ruin your life.
Go to the gym instead.

Step 1:
Measure your resting heart rate (RHR) by placing your thumb sligthly in between your neck and your throat.
Record accordingly.

Step 2:
Stare at the photo below.
Repeat step 2 until you feel a tingling sensation.

Step 3: Record your heartrate after 15 minutes of intense staring.
Caution: Never ever allow your eyes to stray. You must be focused to achieve great things.
This could lead to either of the following results.

Result 1: A significant improvement in heartrate. (Approximately 150 beats per minute)

What does it mean:
Congratulations! You're a natural at this! Plan carefully and your blood circulation will be perfect!
You'll be so healthy, you'll never have to worry about having a cardiac arrest for the rest of your lifetime!
However, if you ever feel necessary to change the image you're staring at, you are absolutely entitled to!
Over time, you may find it mandatory to look at living specimens.
Please go ahead.
No one is stopping you.
But bear something in mind.
If it is not an image, dun try to touch it.
Do that, and you'll have to make an appointment with a lawyer.
For more informaton, please check out "Lee's instruction manual for hiring the best...."

Result 2: Only a slight improvement in heart rate

Proposed solutions

1) Okay. The key, is to be specific. Pinpoint precision. Do not fret my friend. Scan through every pixel of the image carefully and determine for yourself at which point does your heartrate starts to accelerate the fastest. Sooner or later, you'll feel it. Everywhere.

2) Perhaps the image is not large enough! Try using your pc to zoom into the picture from 100% to about 150%. Do not exceed the 200% limit. Remember, you cannot compromise the quality of the picture for size. It has to be as clear as possible.

3) Watch a video instead.

Result 3: A decrease in heart rate

What does it mean:

1) You are gay.
2)You are gay.
3) You are gay.
4) You are girl that thinks you are a guy.
5) You are an in between
(Tragic, my condolences)

Proposed solution (for 1-4):

1) Stare at this image instead.

Do as instructed for the previous image.

For problem number 5,

stare at both images at the same time.

Remember to record your heartrate!!! =D

----------------------------End of Post-----------------------------------------------

2010-07-20T22:18:00.008+08:00

My apologies for such a late entry.
Just like how some techno bug infiltrated the DBS system and rendered services unavailable for a number of hours, my Internet has apparently being afflicted with the same kind of illness as well.
Now, the ultimate joke is only I, of all people am unable to load my own blog perfectly.
The artwork design at the top is totally absent.
The only thing that allows me to make out my blog are the familiar posts in the equally recognisable grayish background.
Looks totally crude and ugly, especially when the widgets at the sidebar doesnt come out properly as well.
Along with that little problem, that was more frustrating than it was disruptive, I had to also deal with the conundrum of not being able to post despite already logged onto my account.
A double whammy. =(

But like all computer geniuses I managed to get round that problem somehow, so here I am again!

Before I start my post officially, I have to first rant about some misfortunes that happened to me today.

1) I was caught by the discipline head for inappropriate hair length.

     1.1) It wasnt even long.

2) I ate lunch alone today because my colleagues forgot about me and went to the gym.

    2.1) They found it funny.

3) I found out that the free kopitiam card that was given to me was damaged when I attempted to top it up.

    3.1) It is brand new.

4) I got lost in Tan Tock Seng Hospital after trying to make my way to novena square using the internal     route.

   4.1) The signs didnt help.

----------------------------End of rant----------------------------------
                                             FML

So Clar, if you havent been blogging, just what were you up to during the weekends??

Ah, yes i was about getting to that.

Inception, the latest blockbuster to hit the big screens has lived up to its hype after all.
The movie reviews had awarded it the 5 star ratings had their decisions totally justified.
But a word of caution.
This film is not for the brainless. LOL
Highly sophisticated, it will probably have you picturing 4 scenes playing inside your head simultaneously as you crack your head over the current progress of the story in order to make sense of it all.

Weijian had his own reflections on his blog, and I share the same sentiments with him.
This movie absolutely deserves some musing over.

Who are we to declare that the world we are living in is absolute reality, when it is possible for us to feel the same concentration of realism in the dreams that our mind conjures when we are asleep?
Have we been decieved to believe that everything we observed with our five senses are genuine entities when they are in truth nothing more than a virtual environment?
Can life be after all, just a complicated simulation designed by some professional architect?
If so, that bring along more issues, like who is the architect?
The Almighty God?

Fascinating questions never meant to be answered.
Perhaps the only way to know for sure would be to....
yeap, die. LOL.
I wouldnt recommend that option though, in case you somehow 'found out' that it wasnt a dream.
HAHA.
You would have been OWNED.
=D

In the same week I went back to Anderson JC to collect my dumb A lvl cert during my lunch break between office hours!
AND BOY DID I HAVE THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE!

No, no, my results did not change one bit from what I saw last time.
(Even if it changed it was more likely to be a one of A to C)
But the crucial story was what happened in AJ itself!
All Ajcians would all remember that there exists a sweet auntie selling mango madness at one corner of the canteen.
and when I appraoached her, boy was i surprised to know that she not only recognised me, but she also correctly identified me as the hungry little boy who bought from them chicken busheetas (spelling crisis) periodically between classes during my student years!
I was so happy i blew her a kiss!

-.-!

Nope i didnt do that of course.
I did however, buy from her a cup of mango madness and I i was in such a good mood that I even treated Joyce to another cup.

Next big shock came from auntie number 2!
The western food auntie!
Yes, she recognised me too and discreetly poured some extra sauce and plopped extra spagettti on my plate when I called for a plate of chicken chop!
hohoho.

I must be some auntie killer huh?!

Hey wait.
Thats not supposed to happen. @.@
Its wrong.
Enough about aunites in aj,
in the same week, I chanced upon a CD that my sis left lying around and managed to install the full Adobe series into my computer!
I was bored, so I kinda thought of learning how to operate and some simple and useful programmes such as Photoshop!

These are the results:
Before/After

HAHAHAHA
I'am so damn pro at this.
=D

2010-07-11T12:14:00.002+08:00

Before I begin this post I must announce that I am grieving over the loss of my smooth facial skin resulted from the lack of sleep every night due to the activities organized by this particular group called Fifa.
Now there are more mini volcanoes on my face than you can find dotting the Ring of Fire.
Boy, lucky for me this is only happening every 4 years.

Enough of soccer, you exclaim !!!

I can almost imagine Mr Goh Weijian flinging his arms to the air and groaning,

"I dunt know shyt about Rooney from Spain, Torres from Italy and Henry from Africa!
(But I know Alam Shah and Fandi from S League. heeehee)
And for goodness sake, will someone explain to me what the hell is an offside decision supposed to mean?!??"

Okay.
So we shall not have any soccer talk today.
(Very ironic since by the end of today's 64th match, the talk of the day will be soccer no doubt)
Hence, I decided to show a very cute Cat Video!
Truly a classic that will force you to mind your table manners after watching.

Did you see that?
Did you see that kitty just shovelling up its food using its very own cutlery and just go num num num?
It makes my dog look like a total retard!
(It is)

I'am still trying very hard to train it to take a bite out of Swu San when she comes to visit.
But damn, I guess she didnt look too delicious for Chubby anyway.
LOL
FAIL.

As for mu personal life....
lets just say that it has been a pain deciding between soccer, gyming, badminton during lunch breaks.
Hohoho.
Also.
I'am planning to finish the whole Dan Brown series by the end of the month too. (during office hours. HAHAHA)
If anyone of you were wishing for good novels to pass your time,
I can assure you that his works will provide you a riveting read until you flip the last page.
Most enigmatic.
Surprisingly intelligent.
And I simply love how he maps his gripping storyline onto myths and legends that were supposed to have died out quite long ago.
But he brought it to life, and retold history in way so realistically that you will have trouble distinguishing fact from fiction.
J.K Rowling made up everything she wrote.
But Dan Brown only made up half of his.
The other half came from the existing world.
and it produced an equally rich plot and a gripping storyline.
I give him a 5 star rating.

His titles include:
1) Da Vici Code
2) Digital Fortress
3) Deception Point
4) Angels and Demons
5) The lost Symbol

Okay, end of post.
Good day. =)

2010-07-03T13:25:00.001+08:00

Pride, it comes before a fall

Pride. Arrogance. Snobbishness. Being condescending.
Over-confidence.
The act of not putting anyone before your very eyes.

Call it whatever you like,
but it stands out as one of mankind's greatest sins.
And in nowhere more obvious this moral crime being flamboyantly and shamelessly displayed on this very world stage--you guessed it, the 2010 world cup.

Time and time again,
the haughty but technically superficial footballers who have had their head so high in the air have fallen.
This might seem like a great skill to have, considering that achieving a great vertical height with your skull might be a good way to head home a goal, but no, in this South African tournament, all they have accomplished are unprecedented and totally jaw dropping historical losses to nations that they thought so lowly about.
In fact, so low was their position (if they even had any) in their minds, that they called them the underdogs. (Mind you, thats already an euphemism for perhaps, 'losers who will never make it big in the world of football')

Well, it has turned out that the so called underdogs were not content of just sitting back and being subservient to their abusive masters, but have bit back savagely to cause some devastating wounds to the high hopes of their more dominating(or more accurately, dominated) counterparts.

The one of the first few warning barks that should have alarmed the rest of the un-suspecting players would surely be the ones delivered to France and England, whom incidentally, top my personal hate list for not only being proud or arrogant, but also for their gross lack of sportsmanship and discipline these high profile games.

Here Clarence Lee shares with you the major flops and floppers (<< not to be confused with slippers) of the tournament.

France, oh, where shall I start?
Never mind that their team looked so un-threatening attack wise and defensively fragile during their games, but even internally, they were imploding from disagreement, disobedience and dissension.
Nonetheless, it proved to be really great entertainment stuff especially for their competitors. (Of course, not to the French fans)

1) Nichloas Anelka being sent off for his tirade against his befuddled coach, Raymond Domaech (who I find fundamentally flawed for not being able to have the slightest control over his players)

2) Patrice Evra (the team captain wtf??) leading a boycott of their trainings despite the need to prepare for a big game with South Africa.

3) France's eventual dismal results of one draws and two losses (if my memory serves me well) before exiting disgracefully out from the south african action.

4) The reprehensible un-sporting behaviour of the Raymond Do when they lost and refused to shake the hand of the South Afrcan team coach

Such lack of responsibility.
And their sins made worse with the hopes of the entire nation resting on their shoulders.
Uruguay, Mexico and South Africa, apparently sensing their opponent's disjointed structure, fought their opponents of better repute with fortitude, and ended up with equal, if not a higher standing than the hopeless French that were crumbling apart...inside out......

England had the supposedly 'golden generation' players to represent their nation and they looked poised to putting up a good fight in vying the World Cup, but sadly they didnt even come close.
Without a doubt, these are one of the most over-rated players in their nation's record books.
Hyped up sensations generated one handedely by none other than their media.
Legendary Wayne Rooney very shockingly exits this World Cup without even having a single score to his name.
The man that England looked upon so fervently as the individual who would have made THE difference.
He made a difference alright, but of another kind towards his fans.
Differences with the whole of England.
After a frustrating game with Algeria which ended up in a draw,
the ever so hot tempered spit fire lost his head and lashed out at his fans for jeering the under-perforrming Englishmen.
When their humiliating campaign finally ended with them being ruthelessly thrashed by the Germans,
the England team who had boasted so much about their World Cup endevours and aspirations before the games looked crestfallen and painfully sullen.
Robbed of their un-deserved, imaginary rankings which should never have been.
How's that for a dose of reality?
While Frank Lampard's disallowed goal might have proved instrumental in depriving the English a possible turnaround of the German game, according to their manager Fabio Capello, the Englishmen were, summed up very succintly by the New Paper, outclassed and outscored in every departments, and the lightning fast counter-strikes by the Germans sealed the sure fate for the English defence that did not exist.
The English have gone home.
And very rightly so.

Italy, the champions saw not even a glimpse of their former glory as the crashed out subsequently after losing to the again, underdogs from Slovakia.
Indeed, to a person who has no knowledge of the team's former achievements whatsoever, he might have even categorized their team as being in the underdog group.
In short, they were just EXTRA-ordinary. (<<
1 point.
Thats all they've manage to squeeze out from the 3 matches they played in the group stages.
Hell, even Australia finished better with 2 points to their name.
The free flowing football that they had played before were hardly on display as they took on their opponents and their co-ordination at setting up a goal was as good as trying to get my dog stand on two legs.
They just werent the same Italy as before.

I wouldnt go as far to say that Italy belittled ther opponents,
but perhaps the mistaken belief that their team couldnt possibly be eliminated so swiftly from the group stages has produced a kind of complacency that has led them to sit on their laurels while their opponents prepare frantically for the battle against their more superior opposition, which paid off, to their relief.

Italy can cry for as long as they like,
but they,
like France and England before,
have some changing of priorities and mentalities to do.

Even Spain stumbled on the complacency trap as they went head to head with Switzerland, giving the Swiss a historic victory over the European heavyweights for the first time.
But unlike their predecessors,
the Spanish managed to recover from their shock defeat to go on to beat the other countries in the group stages,
sending waves of comfort for their fans who must have contemplated
their team catapulting out of the competition like how France did.

Being arrogant is not only a twisted minset that nobody likes to see, but it is also it a huge liabiliy for the guilty that conjures up the illusion that they are superior above all.
And when defeat is imminent, this wrongful assessment of others and themselves is suddenly made clear to them, leaving themselves to struggle in vain with the qualities they always thought they possessed.

We have just reviewed the recent past to reveal the teams that have been punished so dearly for it.
And yet, we still have another overly self-assured team, Argentina, coached by the eccentric and snobbish Marradonna, that cannot be more confident of beating Germany for a place in the semi finals.

I just hope that the Germans will force them to 'wake up their idea'
and mete out the very same penalties that they delivered to the clueless Englishmen in their upcoming match tonight.

There is a smile actually,
to describe these haughty people .

"As proud as a peacock"

I will like to just an addition to that phrase.
A very small one.

"As proud as a pea -cock"

Now thats much better. =)

2010-06-27T01:25:00.001+08:00

Running into the knockout stages of the World Cup, I, Clarence Lee, seem dangerously close to getting my butt permanately and irreversibly glued to the couch and the same must be said about the fans of the16 nations battling for their nation's glory.

Theres only one way to describe the experience watching an interesting soccer match.
I.........dunt have much to say...just watch this.
Some background information though,
this is the reaction of the Americans to the winning goal Landon Donovan's (USA) against Slovakia at the 92nd minute sending the nation into raptures of joy.
THE LAST MINUTE.
An absolute howler, just when you think its time to switch off your set box.
(Special attention should be dedicated to the 3.23 minute. Trust me, you will laugh your ass off)

Did you see that?????
Did you see THE MOST EPIC FACE of all time?!?!?
Look, if it werent for that hysterical dude exclaiming 'Goal!!!!' or 'USA!!!'
you would have thought that he just heard the 4th number of his 4D ticket off the television!
And just look at how he slides down that staircase!
Pure ecstasy I would say, to ignore the pain on your butt!!

How can you not break into a smile when you watch that atmosphere of suspense and agony explode into sudden exhilaration and joy??

I didnt exactly watch that match in detail though,
I had thought the Portugal vs Brazil match HAD to be more eventful.
But like always,
you'll be caught off guard....

Much of history has been re-written in this world cup.
For all those soccer-dummies out there,
France and Italy have already bowed out early from the competition,
a major blow for the European's footballing reputation.
Asians for the for the first time are performing rather well in this South African territory,
with S.Korea and Japan reaching the top 16,
defying beliefs that the yellow skinned dudes will never make it big in the sport.
The South Americans, on the other hand are in top form,
playing brilliantly even at their worst,
and they look certain into breaking new ground in the quarter finals as the competition proceeds.

It has been a roller coaster of all sorts-
the underdogs shocking the giants;
the losers leading revolts,
and the arrogant being humbled by the modest.
Tempers have been raised,
and much tears have flowed.

Even Politics have come into play,
now that France and Italy are out so early for the first time in XXX years,
that ignominy is hard for either nations to bear.
The government of both countries have vowed to investigate into their failures,
to right the wrongs,
and perhaps even,
to blame the culpable.

Soccer is not only about 22 men kicking a dumb ball,
it is about everything and everyone being put together.

And the world will celebrate and cry as one in perhaps the most dramatic sport ever played by mankind.

Long Live football. =)

2010-06-20T23:35:00.001+08:00

Miss Jane Tan has set up a blogshop selling her very own range of clothing apparels!
I told her I would have gotten some if I had a girlfriend! =p
But to all my girl--friends...
erm,
go check it out okay! =)

Link has been added on the left.
And no, she did not pay me commission for this.
LOL

2010-06-19T02:18:00.003+08:00

It must have been at least an hour since I heard the last words of the commentator in the game of USA vs Slovakia yelling into my already numb eardrums made senseless by the endless buzzing of the vuvuzelas that has been made so iconic in this World Cup held in the continent of S. Africa.

It is in full swing now, this event that is held every four years.
And it has become almost a routine now, me waking up in the wee hours of the morning for work, then immediately returning home at 6 from office to catch the games that kicked off virtually everyday at Singapore time, 230am, 1930pm, and 2200pm respectively.
Well, its hard not to thank the lords for giving me such a...perfect vocation in which its working hours just seamlessly falls into place to fit the kickoff times of every match.
I have never paid so much attention to any of the previous World Cups, and was never given the opportunity to anyway.

One or two quirky things that I noticed from my recent obsession with the games as a soccer fan.

1) Girls are more into soccer than guys (at least from my band of friends, thats the case)
Name Fernando Torres, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard, David Villa and your girl-friends will probably identify themselves with the soccer stars easily with gushes of excitement. Bring this up to your guy-friends and you will find it hard to comprehend their TOTAL lack of knowledge in the footballing world. Well...you cant blame them I suppose, if the 11 hunks on the pitch were switched with 11 bikini clad babes running scantily around, I bet the male population would have made it a National sport in every country.

2) There is a country actually smaller than Singapore actually playing the World Cup.
Believe it or not, its true.
With a population of 2 million, the nation of Slovenia is impressing the world with their performance on the pitch, given that they have such a small pool of human. resources to draw from.
As a matter of fact, the heroes of this minute country held the USA to a standstill when two Slovenia players stunned the superpower by sweeping two into their back of the net.
The USA eventually managed to to salvage the game in the end, but coming from such a seemingly harmless nation, Slovenia made their point very clear with the damage delivered.

So, anyone into the S. league?

3) Never bet on anyone to win.
No gambling folks, has been the cautions thrown to the audience sitting being the TV set by the very very concerned authorities during this soccer season who is bound to see a spike in these activities, and, for good reason.

A football match is as random as radioactivity.
With Spain getting cut by the Swiss knife, England fumbling over Robert Green's professional handling of the Jabulani ball, France humbled by the less reputable Mexico for World Cup qualifications, you cant be a 100% sure where the match is heading. Even Brazil, who were expected to cruise through in their match against the hermit nation N. Korea, did not have such an easy time as everyone thought they would. Surprises (or more likely, shocks) await for gamblers at every corner all the time. Irrational refereeing or a gross act of indiscipline could probably see your money down the the drain.......

So listen to the cops for once will you?

LOL

Now its nearing 230 am.
Off for some England vs Algeria action!!
Good morning. =)

2010-06-13T15:24:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I feel that my colleagues are so damn hilarious.

Like all first timers, I was filled with apprehension and trepidation of my new job when I entered the office through its automated doors.
Its the kind of fear that causes you to be unsure of what to expect.
But after my first encounter with my fellow PNSF colleagues, I was fully convinced that I was about to join the ranks of 5 jokers in the rest of my NS journey.

After resting my black bagpack on my cubicle, I started my excursion around the quiet office with my tour guide cum new colleague Bernard.
Oh oh oh!
He is definitely NOT the Bernard Chong you're thinking about!
Well, you will know why after looking at how outrageous or how great,
his hospitality was.

Bringing me to his cubicle where the rest of the people were lurking,
he introduced me briefly to them,
and me,
being bad at names,
forgot every single person that he told me about.
He then proceeded to hand me a form,
which I recieved with outstretched hands with a face of absolute seriousness,
preparing myself mentally,
expecting notes that will somehow give me a better picture of my current job scope.
To my pleasant astonishment,

The heading of it read:
"WORLD CUP_2010"
Bewildered, I raised my head and looked at him quizzically.

And he, with a smirk on his face,
asked,
'You watch soccer dunt you?'

'Yeah I guess so'

"Great. Fill up this form. I want to know the predicted match outcome for every match. At least give me the top 4."

HAHAHAHAHA.
joke!!!

More than happy to assist him,
I racked my head and finally came out with the four countries.

Looking at the filled up form,
he seemed impressed, and deep in thought...
Spain, England, Argentina and Brazil,
I had forecasted.

"Did you look at Time magazine or something?"

"errr...nope!"

"Yours is exactly like theirs!"

WOW.
LOOKS LIKE I CAN WRITE A MAGAZINE ALREADY. =x

Thats not the end of the comical impression they left on me.

I noticed their cubicles were embellished with the pictures of Korean Pop stars,
and they were very very, proud to admit who were the girls they adored,
and also wasted no time imposing their opinions on me.
A typical photo you would find would be something like this:

In hurried but hushed voices,
they flashed me a very solemn look which startled me.

"So who is the best?" Bernard asked.

"You will lose alot of friends if you make the wrong decision. " his friend behind him added.

GOD.

That was the toughest decision I had to make in that day.

You must say though, that picture rocks.
HAHAHAH

It appeared on my desktop a few days later.
=x

2010-06-12T12:44:00.000+08:00

The World cup 2010 finally kicks off----South African style.
It has been a great honour for the world's poorest continent, who are more known for their abject destituition than their soccer capabilities.
But yesterday, in full view of the world audience, they presented their burning enthusiasm and unwavering patriotism for their countries. In the past, when my gp teacher rambled on and on about topics interlacing each other, I didnt fully catch what she meant.
Sports isnt just sports.
And soccer can be...
so much more. =)

I have since started work in urban streets of Novena, in the twin towers of the Ministry of Home affairs.
It hasnt been exactly labourious job, and I love it.
Bound by the Official Secrets Act though, I better keep my lips tight about anything that has to do with my days there lest the snafu of a policeman getting charged happens.

Other than that, colleagues have been nice, and superiors, even better.
Makes me even wonder how I landed myself such an enjoyable job.
Looks like my 1 year stay in the twin towers will be not a dreadful one, but instead something I will look forward to everyday. =)

Good news always have to come in twos.
Basically translating to shuang xi lin men in mandrin.
Just prior to my posting to Novena, Singapore Management of University (SMU) fortuntely granted me entry to the varsity more associated with their unique pedogogy of business concepts tha
n anything else.
In short, it looks like the rest of my 5 years will lie in the city from now on.
hahaha. to think I never liked the hustle and bustle of crowded places at all.
And now i have to live with it. =x
Sncerest Congratulations to Zai Wang and Crystal for getting the course as well.
So far according to statistical evidence given, it seems that the interview i went for the course had a 100% success rate.

Other than that, I hope my bunkmates are having as good a time as me in their vocation.
haha.
Kinda miss camp life.

Work starts in the office from now on~~~

2010-06-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

And the world cup commences.

I'am betting on Spain.
=x

2010-06-07T20:39:00.001+08:00

When you're constantly going to the FML blog to satisfy a sick sense of humour, you know you're depressed.

2010-06-03T21:50:00.002+08:00

Oh god.
Its not the actual date yet, but TGIF9(S).
Translation in progress>>>>>>>>>>>>> Thank god its friday (soon)! =D

Yes yes, I see the eggs hurling towards me now.
And also the frying pan that it was in =x
You have no right to complain Corporal Lee, you're dismissed from 'work' at 5 everyday!!!
Hows that for a vocation!

Tsk tsk tsk.
You have to be grateful~~~~
Think about others!!
What about Weijian, kokli, Zhian, Bernard, Jiawei who are currently having the time of their lives in their vocation?!
TGISPF !!!
Transtion in progress >>>>>>>>>>>>>>;Thank God its Singapore Police Force!! LOOOOOL

*applause!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cut the bullshit Clar.
Get yourself a hobby.
Stop talking to yourself on this god forbidden platform.
Go catch some pickpockets. Some robbers. Some thiefs.
Ah, maybe the gangsters behind the Kallang attack.
Bring them to justice!
Remember those bastards who assaulted you first and then made away with your handphone like...6 years ago???? Or perhaps those idiots that had the audacity to slip away undectected after illegally grabbing your Ripcurl bao bao in MacDonalds 4 years back?
Yeah! You recall that dunt you?!
Avenge yourself dude!
Do a mighty mighty takedown and yank them back to where they belong!
PRISON!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Today, training was incredibly full-filling...(pun intended in every way)
I had nasi lemak for breakfast and in the noon I ate Nasi Ayam Penyet.
To my horror, when I returned home in the evening,
mum informed me i was having Nasi Bryani for dinner.

The end result: An organic cauldron of malay food and stomach acids.
Biological Processess that are ocurring: Carbohydrates/protein converts into fats.
Physical deformaties: Extra blubber located near/at belly area.

I love my job! =)

World Cup in 7 dayS!
Lai bahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-01T00:11:00.001+08:00

And so i've learnt.

2010-05-30T18:54:00.001+08:00

Vantage Point

I can feel my life regaining its days of normalcy gradually ever since the parade marked the finale of my very eventful passing out as a trainee.
Not only has my block leave that came after it reminded me how wonderful it was to lead a civilian life again, it has also very plainly told me how painfully BORING it was.
No instructors yelling at us, no inspectors punishing us, no worries about physical training............
My life is now....freestyle.

Well, my family took this opportunity and made use of my sudden vast expanse of time and made a trip down to marina bay....where the great...massive one wheeler was located.
The Singapore Flyer.
I would like to think that my uncle giving us tickets at discounted prices was not the ONLY reason why we thought of riding it, but after thinking for quite long i could not come out with another reason. =x

The gentle giant, allegely the tallest observation tower in the world, when we found it in the evening, stood tall, sturdy but unfortunately, unremarkable.
It was only during the night where it showed its true colours. (No pun intended!)
With neon lights embellishing the exterior of the many capsules that hung from unimaginably strong cables, the flyer came to life.
And that was the perfect time I was busily taking snapshots using my sis's SLR camera,
seldom had I the chance to operate such 'heavy duty' photographic, and I jumped at the chance as soon as I got hold of it.

Experience wise,
I must say you cannot really feel the rotation of the flyer once you're on board of it.
Which is good I suppose,
nobody wants fast oscillations when you're paying 30 bucks for a ride!
Spnning away your cash I would say. hahaha.
The flyer did what was promised, though.
One can get a top of the world experience when peering through the glass and observing the city below.
Cars appear as fast moving dots while the tallest of buildings seemed to lose most of its height and authority the moment you're the one looking down at it!
The birds eye view was a treat to the eyes and I would say that it was quite worth its price tag. (the discounted one. LOL)

Okay. Thats it guys.
I know you all hate long posts so i decided to restrain myself this time.

Starting my new life tommorrow~
Wish me luck! =)

-----come back soon----

2010-05-30T00:26:00.001+08:00

Bon voyage my friend~

One week passes very fast.....right?

2010-05-25T19:54:00.001+08:00

May I POP?

Extraordinary.

That should more than sum up the whole of my 3 mths stay in HTA.

Thrills and drills(<

last week of our residential training in the place where we dreaded less and less after each passing day.

As usual, the parade conductors were merciless in running the rehearsals, and it became apparent soon enough that both the frequency and the intensity of the practices were increasing from the first training that started (with no hesitation) on Monday.

From where I was positioned in the squad formation, sandwiched in between Wang Wang and Zhong, mutters of complaints could be heard without fail every day, especially when the day stretched into the late mornings and evenings, to a point where it was obnoxious and irritating.

Even the rainy season was unable to liberate us from our mundane routine.

Somehow, the heavy downpours didn't coincide with the scheduled timings and the light drizzles that did however, were not significant enough to order an immediate evacuation from the Unity Square (place where we practiced our drills).

Still, the torrential rain meant that Mercury levels were dropping, making marching in full dress rehearsals much cooling than it should have been.

The sun was often not visible throughout the days, the skyline obscured with dark clouds that resembled colossal grey vessels, blocking the path of each photon that attempted to penetrate its fluffy and dense shield.

But even the clouds that were shrouding the Unity Square could not contain the bundle of joy that was radiating from every trainee that was parading in it.

It was our last week to march in glory in what they called the Number 3 uniform, and all of us knew exactly what that meant.

Albiet the moaning and groaning, we understood that our sufferings were reduced bit by bit, slowly but surely, to a day we have been praying to reach since the 2nd of Febuary.

Bunk life couldnt have been more lively.

Knowing that it was our last week together as a squad in communal living should have been quite a relief, but instead it was quite the contuary.

We huddled together for little picnics (or biscuit parties, if you will like to call them), and chatted endlessly like a bunch of housewives into the dead of the night.

Nearing the end of the week, we were giddy with excitement. ZW almost went into bouts of estatic hysteria on Thursday night in the toilet, prompting an incredulous look from me as I looked at his animated (but fully understadable) actions.

It was dangerous to take a bath.

Well I suppose you could actually, if you didnt mind an upskirt photo of you enjoying your late night shower being shared among all members of the squad.

Euphoria had created a more fun-loving atmosphere, and pranks were my squadmates favourite way of expressing their happiness.

Other than this outrage of modesty of the same gender (ugh), they found a variety of amusing ways to irritate and frustrate their more conservative mates.

For example, stealing clothing as we bathed, spraying powder on a person's bed and finally sneaking up to a person and shocking him half to death when the lights are out.

It was a maddening thing to be tricked for the victims, but we laughed it off all the same.

Where rules were concerned, there were none.

Instead of orderly marching, we practically pranced and danced from point A to point B, cutting corners where we could.

We barely drank 50 ml for water parades, and also walked freely along the corridors even when the lights are out.

All the 'by rights'', we had turned into 'by lefts'.

Joy, like flu, was evidently contagious.

On two nights, we were exempted from eating Mass food, something which we figured we definately wouldnt miss even after our permanent departure from this training grounds.

Instead, FI Kai Quan permitted the ordering of Pizzas to celebrate the occasion, and the spread of food on the tables when it was delivered to us was impressive.

None of us started eating immediately though.

Although we were starved we knew instictively that that was not the main motive of the dinner.

Instead we got together and happliy snapped pictures like never before.

The Mass, which was usually orderly and systematic, turned into a state of chaos and rowdiness during the group photos, as we jumped over one another (literally), to get into the line of sight of the photographer.

At the end of our group photo, we even conspired (and succeeded) to tao pok our FI.

We were so victorious in doing it, that he pumped us right after he manage to wiggle out of the massive stack of human bodies. *photo of us being pumped is shown above.

LOL

It was all smiles on that unforgettable Wednesday night,

a night that we felt we were already half released from the handcuffs of HTA's stringent rules and regulations.

(get it? handcuffs?? because we are.......NEVER MIND!)

By Friday, graduation night, all hell broke loose.

Even before the event had started, we already could experience the lifting effect of our elevated status.

Donned in our home attires we made our way to the Mass------not marching, but strolling, as normal, privileged individuals whose movements were not controlled by anything or anyone.

The concert was quite dull in the beginning, with a band playing a series of songs and judging from the many vacant seats, almost half of the audience were more preoccupied in what was for dinner than the quality of their performance.

But like a steady crescendo, the momentum built up quickly, espcially after FI Shake made a surprise appearance and took hold of things.

A brilliant entertainer, he really knew how to start the ball rolling and soon much of the audience were literally standing on the chairs and hollering at the top of their lungs.

The various squads put up their performances and we marvelled at their skills as some showed off their dance moves while others showed off their vocal talents.

The most endearing performance ended off with FI Shake's speech, about how he was proud of us, the 138th batch of trainees.

At the end of everything, we ourselves were more convinced than ever that the hardship we suffered in trainings was all worth the shyt.

Fianlly Monday, a day of reckoning.

Much preparations were done in the morning, although i sincerely <3- ed my afternoon nap that lasted 1 to 3pm on my comfy bed which I was totally not entitled to sleep on.

Many of my mates were also busy contacting their family members, informing them of the time of arrival to witness their final moment of glory.

Ma'am came into our bunk after my satisfying sleep with a bunch of certificates and our rank.

Thats it.

We were COPORALS from now on.

It was only a rank, but it was still a seemingly far cry from the lowly title, 'the Trainee'.

We attached the two-striped cloth with the help of the velcro the moment we got hold of it.

Now, we were more than motivated to perform, more than eager to parade.

Time leapfrogged in a flash we were already at our respective form up points awaiting for the March off.

Proud family members were already streaming in, certain households gave quite an exaggerated show of support and almost brought their entire generation of relatives along.

They filled the grandstands quickly and it became impossible to spot any recognisable faces from the sea of strangers that dotted the stands.

During the wait, Ma'am showed up again, with the list of postings for all of us.

One by one, she delivered the news us, telling us where our futures were to be for the next 1 plus year.

It was confirmed.

MHA was my workplace to be, along with Zhong and Zai.

Suddenly the music in the background disappeared.

Everyone who were clamouring with Ma'am quickly stood at attention.

The command came swiftly.

And then the Drum rolls.

After the second beat,

we were marching off,

in the cool vespertine breeze,

for glory.

2010-05-23T11:10:00.005+08:00

hi hi everyone.
I will be having a big post coming up describing my passing out parade tmr and the many delightful days that led up to it.

I was browsing through the web when i chanced upon this very touching video.
Heart wrenching.
God, I almost turned vegetarian after watching that.
Poor kitty.

Proof of animals having the capacity to feel compassion for their fellow friends in the animal kingdom?
This will surely question and challenge the long standing belief that homo sapiens are the only organisms on this world to have the ability to love and to care.

To all animal abusers out there,
before you decide to hurl a stone at a cat or use a canine as a punching bag,
think twice.

Any opionions from my dear readers? =x

As everyone can see there has been a new addition to my blog---- a widget that displays quotes from many different prominent people that lived through all ages.

This is my favourite so far.

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease in which there are no survivors"

The more you think about it, the more pointless life becomes. D=

Squad mates are good for one thing.
You get to know songs.
haha.
Heres Monsoon by Tokio Hotel.
Courtesy of Ismail again. =)
Thumbs Up.
Lyrics please.

Monsoon by Tokio Hotel
I'm staring at a broken door
There's nothing left here anymore
My room is cold, it's making me insane
I've been waitin' here so long
Another moment seems to've come
I see the dark clouds comin' up again

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

A halfmoon fading from my sight
I see your vision in its light
But now it's gone and left me so alone
I know I have to find you now
Can hear your name,I don't know how
Why can't we make this darkness feel like home?

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon

Hey!
Hey!

I'm fighting all this power coming in my way
Let it take me straight to you,
I'll be running night and day
I'll be with you soon
Just me and you
We'll be there soon
So soon

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world
Til' the end of time
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm
Into the blue
And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you
Through the monsoon
Through the monsoon
Just me and you
Through the monsoon
Just me and you

2010-05-16T12:24:00.002+08:00

Stunning performance by a sixth grader!
Encore encore!
Well you know what they say, viral videos dunt end up being disseminated so widely for nothing!
Talent will not go unnoticed.
Oh, and dunt u love the expressions on the audience's face as they stare at who is apparently Justin Bieber's son!??!
stare*
hah!
Talk about jaw dropping ladies and gentlemen...
Hold on a second.
Where are the gentlemen in the audience?!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Mind Games

Yes, people.
I wait eagerly and wide eyed for the arrival of the 24th, a date that seemed unreachable just a couple of weeks ago.
Mixed feelings.
The last five days of my BMT; I'am not sure if I should cherish, or simply, 'wait it out'.

Much time has been spent on parades and the fine tuning of our drills.
It is one thing to stand under the glaring rays of of the sun. and another to resist the unscractchable itch when a drop of perspiration avalanches down your torso.
By the end of every practice, all of us future police officers will take down our peak cap (soaked) to reveal a glistening head.
Our baked skin sizzled and burned after every session and the throats yearning for a can of 100 plus to be flushed down its parched walls.
It has been exhaustion morning after morning.
If this doesnt sound bad to you, the intensity of the rehearsals would be heighted with the introduction of evening reherasals this coming week.
God bless my uniform.
haha.

As I edge the end of the chapter of my ns life,
I feel compelled to do some reflections.

I have learnt that:

1) It feels awesome to have 12 hours of sleep per day, and make allocations for time slots in the morning, afternoon and night to have a peaceful slumber. Beware of the headache that follows though. If affected, visit the MO (Medical Officer). After getting a barrack leave, continue sleeping.

2) Oreos, Tim Tam, Chips More, Bonjour (choco chip) are the Must haves if one want to feed their chocolate addiction. Once again, beware. Over-indulgence may cause heatiness and lead to discomfort in the throat. A fever may follow after that. (according to anecdotal evidence given by Clarence Lee Wen Jin. Oh..he ate chips more, if thats what you're wondering). If affected, visit the MO. After getting a barrack leave, eat lemon puffs instead.

3) If you cannot get along with your squadmates, refrain from exececuting an armlock or takedown on him. Instead, agitate him to a point of no return. If you are punched, report to higher authority immediately. You will not see that squadmate for an unknown number of days. have fun!

4) It is wonderful to have a football field in camp instead of the normal field. For some reason, nobody likes a field camp on the football field.

5) There comes a time when some mangkok (malay for idiot) comes along and takes away your clothes hanging on the lines. If you're a victim of it, return the favour. Steal someone elses'. According to the Lee Wen Jin theory, this process will create a cycle of theft.

6) There is no reward for being the Squad in charge. The only gratification that this person of this role will get maturing into the most efficient Sai Kang Warrior of all time. Its better off being a domestic maid. At least you get paid.

7) Do not get ostracized. 3 months is a long time.

8) Mum's food is much better than food at camp.

9) Even Dad's food is much better than food at camp

10) Dog food is much better than food at camp

Squad 3, KELUAR BARIS!
POP LO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=D
Blackspectrum is coming home...from home.

2010-05-02T18:48:00.001+08:00

*******I am about 1 and a half hours from book in time, and I'am not feeling very patient as the speed of the Internet broadband service that I'am utilizing is not living up to its reputation at all..
As I type my post in the comfort of my air conditioned bedroom and on a well cushioned computer desk-chair, I can conjure images of Ben, Nich, Alvin, Zuok and Tf having their palms soiled with their respective commanders bellowing 'Start from zero!' after every few that they complete.
Anliang's BMT will be kicking off in HTA this tues.
Finally, a member of the blues that I actually know!

It came as no surprise for me, but I've received the acceptance letter from NTU for the Economics course.
My mother was absolutely elated of course, you would have thought that your family have become multi-billionaires overnight via the lottery if your mum came charging into the room like that. (she then proceeded shake me uncontrollably as if I were an unconscious person in need of immediate resuscitation)

Although I got only ONE acceptance letter so far, there comes this hypothetical future of 'The dilemma of the Trio' .
If, i repeat, IF, I receive affirmation slips from FASS and SMU (business admin), the situation will be one that I will ponder very much over.
*Migraine attack coming up
Any suggestions or advice anyone can provide? =x

******I was sitting on the bus opposite to ghimmy one day, or rather one night back from SS's house (wow three Ss)
In an awkward attempt to start a conversation, he asked something related to my passion towards football/
Though subsequently I 'ignored' him even after that, it didnt mean I wasnt analyzing the reason behind my liking of the sport with my earphones still plugged into my eardrums.
Since I'am severely running out of precious time, allow me to just touch upon one characteristic of football that defines it from the other sports.

Many women and non-fans of the game resent the fact that certain people share a seemingly ridiculous obsession of watching 11 players run around a pitch chasing a ball, all trying to squeeze it past the goalkeeper and eventually two metal posts.

Soccer, a 90 minute game, probably has one of the longest durations among all the ball games.
I'am not even including the possililty of an extra time if the result of the match is a tie.
That said, dozing off during gameplay is totally justifiable, but that does not mean its a dull game.
It is precisely because of the long duration that gives rise to its unpredictability.
Ever so often, the game changes its main course.
One minute the result is inclined to victory for one team, and in a heartbeat the defence of the same team may be the topics of ridicule.....
Depending on which side you support, it can make you roar in hysterial approval, or cover your head with bitter disappointment.
Such excitement is hard to be derived in other ball games; as it involves changes in the pace of gameplay.
If you hadnt noticed, games like badminton, tennis or volleyball even consists of almost non- stopping action, giving no time for its spectators to stop and rest.
It is heart pounding action all the way, and ironically, in my opionion, it has taken away some allure from it.
Since boredom can be ignited by experiecing something for a long time, you cant disagree that watching again and again will have an opposite effect.
Action peaking after a long time is different, it creates drama and climaxes; controversies and arguements.

There is always something interesting to gossip about after a match.
Whether is it a horrendous decision by the referee or the amazing pace of a particular player, there are loads of stories to be shared.
Other say the lack of technology controlling refree's decisions compromises fairness in the game, yes I do not doubt that tragic outcome, but everything has its pros and cons, and the biggest positive effect of the gameplay has been probably the endless number of issues fans of the sport can share among themselves after a match.

Okay, I have like 10 minutes to get everything ready.
Guys, I've to go.
Meanwhile, Enjoy the background music,
its kinda catchy. hahah.

3, By Britney Spears
1, 2, 3

Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between

Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul, and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves sex
Count em

Babe, pick a night
To come out and play
If it's alright
What do you say?

Merrier the more
Triple fun that way
Twister on the floor
What do you say?

Are - you in
Livin' in sin is the new thing (yeah)
Are - you in
I am countin'!

1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul & Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves sex
Count em

1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul & Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves ***
Count em

Three is a charm
Two is not the same
I don't see the harm
So are you in the game?

Lets' make a team
Make 'em say my name
Lovin' the extreme
Now are you in the game?

Are - you in
Livin' in sin is the new thing
Are - you in
I am countin'!

1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul & Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves ***
1, 2, 3

Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul & Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves **

Count em
What we do is innocent
Just for fun and nothin' meant
If you don't like the company
Let's just do it you and me
You and me...
Or three...
Or four...
- On the floor!

1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul & Mary
Gettin' down with 3P
Everybody loves sex

Count em

1, 2, 3
Not only you and me
Got one eighty degrees
And I'm caught in between
Count em

1, 2, 3
Peter, Paul & Mary
Gettin' down with 3P

Everybody loves ***
Count em

2010-04-23T15:26:00.010+08:00

Pardon the pun, but isnt my post quite an eye-opener from the start?

For time immemorial, it shall be
At last, all the worries that I had in the past has disappeared and now I'am just awaiting the closure of my academic tests for the finale, after which POP on the 24th May will finally draw the curtains over my BMT experience in the Police Force.

Unbelievable as it sounds, I do think I will miss the times that I had with my squadmates and all. Living with them for three months, I have laughed with them, went through the agony of tolerating with one another, perspired as one as we sailed through our IPPT, and of course knocked it down whenever we got into trouble. Their habits, mannerisms and idiosyncrasies* which had become so relevant and important to me, will become so etched into my mind such that I think it will be quite a task to erase all of that away just depending on time alone. A camp of confinement yes, but it will still remain as a place where new friendships were born, and also the place where the spirit of camaraderie, conviviality,togertherness and brotherhood was hatched from a series of hardships, punishments and pride for the squad.

Our accomplishments cannot be belittled.
We have branded ourselves as the top squad currently, with a staggering 92% passes for IPPT, and had our drills brushed up so satisfactorily that we have been chosen for Demo squad.
Its a great achievement, for a group that started out small.
Our instructor, whom we pay unmost respect to, will definately be dearly missed.

If you did nothing wrong, I will not punish you unnessarily, was his theory of disiplining us.
So true was he to his words, that he never reprimanded us for any unreasonable purpose.
For every mistake we did that he wanted to make known to us, he stated the reason it clearly, and this only heightened the level of authority that he held in our minds.
No derogatory remarks were made, no vulgarities, no profanities.
Mutual respect was born, and dicipline somehow took care of itself.
This was the kind of relationship we shared with our instructor.

Echo company, my comapany, the huge community that we were compelled to put up with from the start, turned out to be a rather lovely neighbourhood with its friendly residents. Its 4 levels of bunks were packed with trainees, but only on few occasions would I experience acousitical levels going beyond my comfort level. Instead, it was peaceful, but never dead silent; a group bubbling with life but with instilled with a common sense of control.
Unlike the other blocks,
we seldom hit the floor during water parades 9pm at night due to our trait I call "discretionary cautiousness"

My bunk mates,
the ones who (and still are) sleeping with me everyday,
the ones who I gossip with behind people's backs among when the doors are closed,
the ones who share their luxury buscuits when our stomachs are growling,
will also be an unforgettable lot.
No troubles can go undectected within.
At home, there are doors acting as barriers to conceal your own emotions from others.
In the bunk, there are nothing but metal cabinets and single beds.
Any anomaly in behaviour, any change in mood, any sniffle that you make, everyone will know.
Wheather you are joyful, dejected, enraged or just yourself, it was impossible to hide.
We comforted, we talked, and encouraged each other, and battled whatever was coming up as a team, not an individual.

Such is the reason why I love my BMT; my squad, my instructor, the company and my bunk.

Everything, will be hard to forget.

2010-04-17T11:46:00.037+08:00

Tame beasts

Hi everyone! finally got the pictures uploaded and good to view again! Oops looks like I have stubbornly defied qingping's orders to get her spastic photo away from public's eye. In fact everyone look! LOL! And we also have choonboon cowering underneath a pouncing tiger (or lion) whatever I cant really distinguish a lion from a tiger especially when its frozen in stone and 5 men trying to get accepted by the kangeroo tribe. Had some wild fun in there, perhaps its a different kind of enjoyment as compared to window shopping in orchard i guess. Many say its an outrageous idea, going to such a place, but personally i think it was a unique trip which was worthwhile. The only think irritating was the smell of dung which was omni-present whereever we walked.

Friend in law came as well! Impressive shots he took with his SLR but I still condemn his actions of taking a photo of a monkey and tagging it as "Clarence Lee Wen Jin"
Oh wow, so now monkeys finally want to carry the family name down as well?!
God!
Oh yes.
The 2nd last photo, note that the subject of the photo isnt me.
Guess again!!!!!!
Its the pimple on my forehead!
Should submit it to some international photographic competition you know,
I seriously think it may clinch an award or two.
And yeah,
The winner will be Mr Gan Zhi An.

One thing that I observed was also how slack the animals arh.
They were just laying in their enclosures, waiting for the sun to set or something.
Espcially the LIONS (<<<<<< there are actually lions in the zoo!)

hahaha.
nvm.
Long post. short day.
Gotta go. heh

2010-04-11T18:01:00.002+08:00

Alright alright.
Here are the photos of the ten k run i covered few weeks ago with a few of my squadmates and others from TRACOM.
Blogger should have a upload friendly tool for pictures!
Took me damn long just to upload these.
If I look like I shyt in these pictures, thats because I'am dead beat after all that running around bedok reservior!
Oh if u ask why is Qumarul, Collin, Elden, Ismail and yu ping are smiling so sweetly, th because they actually ran a marathon before!
LOL

Went to Mandai zoo with 01 ppl!
Photos will be up by next week!
hahaa.
Tell my tale some other time.
For now, I have to pack up. =(

Looking forward to POP~~~~~
but i think i'll pop first.
not funny clarence. =.=!

2010-04-04T18:40:00.002+08:00

This year will be a year of renewal.
A year of change.
Your time starts now
which started 10 minutes ago.

Crash and Burn

2010-04-04T00:36:00.009+08:00

"On the stroke of midnight, a shattering blow, an almighty slap, and I will reel in this excruciating pain, over the news that cut so deep. Devastated and helpless." ---------------Blackspectrum------------------------

Its not everyday one turns 19, and certainly not everyone expects to receive a huge birthday gift over 300 bucks!

My utmost gratitude goes to the 17 people involved in this amazing contribution, and I should seriously list them out to thank them but I dun really have the exact names so I'll save that for my next post. =x

And also to those who wished me well on this day, I express my thanks to them too (I dun get many facebook comments on my wall, u see) XD

Today comes before the week when the men in green will be saying goodbye to 3 months of their BMT, and that seriously struck a chord of jealousy from all the policemen living in our HTA quarters.

Our day of liberation will come almost one month later,when I could already have successfuly gained another XXX amount of weight.

Sucks when i think of it.

But life has been kind to me so far; very smooth sailing, although there is still a strong sense of emotional confinement within those four walls of that dreaded compound, yearning to get out, pleading for time to pass faster.

And actually having personal time from 7 to 1030 (lights out) doesnt quite quell that urge to climb over that heavily guarded fence to escape.

Today will be a short one.

I'am just tired~~

Fall for you by secondhand serenade
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may of failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When your asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

2010-04-03T13:07:00.001+08:00

The winds of change are blowing through my windows

2010-04-02T14:33:00.001+08:00

2010-03-28T17:22:00.002+08:00

Blackspectrum is taking a break for this week
sorry to disappoint! =x

2010-03-27T16:06:00.001+08:00

FML

2010-03-21T15:10:00.001+08:00

Good day everyone.
I just explored facebook for a awhile before loggin in here, and I saw Teng yu's (sq mate) commenting on his own wall.
"Sunday blues", it read.
God how true is that~~~
I mean, just observe the colour of my uniform! =x

Anyway, its awesome to have technology under my mercy again!
Took me awhile before I urged myself to come online.
Was too busy commanding R.V.P and friends on my 360 platform. =p

Had been chilly these few mornings, and overcast skies.
My squadmate was shivering in his 'sedia' position from behind, and yes!
I was busy practising SSS in that position! =D
There has been a silver lining behind all that dark clouds though.
You see, you do not need to be a geography student or a meteorologist to instinctively KNOW that dark clouds are usually accompanied with lightning alerts.
And boy, did we start cheering when the siren reverberated through the whole company while we were ready to go to our respective venues for physical trainings!
Clarence <3 to slack!

Luckily the clouds held their weights on the monday evening I ran 10km around the picturesque Bedok Reservoir. (the beauty of the view diminishes every second the moment you start the curcuit I swear)
I didnt like the idea of competing under pelting raindrops, and thank god that didnt happen!
Especially when that was the first time i was covering the distance.
And all our morning trainings would have been in vain had the water bullets began assailing us.
All the runners were downright scary...
Their ability to maintain speed with breaths for such a long period was amazing~
Couldnt keep up with their pace without worrying that my shin would split into two or myself entering cardiac arrest.
As a result I ran together with Ismail, kept myself going and ignored the heat radiating from all tissues of my body...
Water stations with people offering cups were set up every 400m of the run, and so i told myself if I died from heat exhaustion or something there will be always someone to hear my last words. LOL.
Perhaps the most interesting part that happened was when I thought I was reaching the finishing line when there was like another 800m to go.
hahaha. Many runners got fooled too!
Just imagine this.
Mnay people gathered at that point cheering you on, telling you its the last stretch.

I was like 'Whoa, that HAS to be the end!'
And I sprinted gloriously to the finishing line....................
only to suddenly hear this:
"Ok now run to the roundabout and back here!"
$#@!#!@$%@$%@$@#$!@#!@#!@$#@%$#^%#^%^##@$23
Nice one Clar,
you just squeezed your batteries dry.
D=

I never intended for it to be an intense race against people, but it was more of fighting with yourself I guess.
Very delighted to find out that I had completed it within an hour which was quite an amazing feat for myself coz
Number 1) I slacked frequently during trainings
Number 2) I walked a short distance (100m) during the run
Number 3) I am Clarence
=s
but yes, great personal achievement!
The buffet dinner after the run was even greater though, at least their food didnt taste like overnight garbage this time!
hahah.

now, on a more serious note........

Invisible rifts

Ever since NS started I already had that egging feeling that everyone was drifting away from each other like continental plates resting on the Earth's crust.
Naked to our eye we are always pushed and nudged and rushed by societal forces that demand us to do things their way.
Its just life duh.
Accept it Clar.
You cannot do anything about it.
You will just be bound down by obligations, commitments and rules that will attempt to deviate you from your desired lifestyle...

Unbeknownst to us the ripping process has already begun.
Unbreakable rules that command us to fit the schedules, attend to class and sometimes kanna confined in prisons..
Sad right. D=
Slowly but surely I see less and less time for personal admin time (oops NS jargon),
even to the point where I'am starting to doubt the existence of a birthday celebration (i wun even dare to promise a party) this year.
Probably the most I'll get is a birthday bash from my squadmates.
They vowed to have a blanket party the next birthday boy appears after Hussein. (his first name is not Saddam)
HAHAHA

But more and more worries will plague us as we grow, additional targets to reach, personal milestones to acheive, and maybe in sometime a family of ??? to feed.
By the time I reach 30 I think I will be lucky not to look like a grandparent.
=x

The strength of friendship will be tested to its maximum,
backstabbed by these aspirations (ironically) we sometimes endevour to acheive...
For eg you would want a double degree to improve your life but the time you spend on it could give the reverse result to your social life....
And I think it is always a challenge to juggle your place in society with the relationships with people you have...

Ultimately these ruptures tearing through our lives will cause some irreversible damage,
but everyone should try to reduce the casualties.

The pillars of friendship will be challenged

-----------------------------------------Blackspectrum------------------------------------

I knew I loved you by Savage garden

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home

I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe
[repeat chorus]

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

2010-03-14T12:54:00.002+08:00

Quotable quotes

All in a day's work
1)"This is F****** fear factor everyday!"
Veeknash, on the food in camp, at mealtimes

2) "My leg hair is longer than the ones on my head....."
     Ismail bin samsudin, on the length of well, his hair...., whenever at the barber's

3) "It doesnt seem like we left this place at all"
     Hasnain, on his return to camp on sunday nights

4) "So how many more weeks to POC arh??"
     Clarence Lee, after waking up every single morning,

Regrets

Whenever i start posting, you can almost be sure it will take at least another 5 days for this site to be updated again.
This week, i'am particularly indolent and I have chosen my last day in civilisation (book in day) for this newest post thereby still keeping to my promise of refreshing this place every week.
With that I must say that I'am pleasantly surprised with the steady increase in numbers at the hit counters,even when i am in camp, as i never thought anybody would somehow think that I had the ability to find a computer while i'am inside. =x

All of my other army friends; the men in green, have since undergone their field camp in the grassy/rocky/muddy/shitty terrians of Tekong...
Their stories, whether it be their unbearable body odour after five days or the herculean task of shovelling holes through the ground has made me very very grateful that I'am not the ones in their shoes....or should i say boots?
All I had to contend with was the daily grind of physical exercise which has made everyone of us reasonably immue to it.
And tomorrow I shall wake (from my really comfy bed) to welcome myself to a day that I'll finally run the cross country race that I had trained so hard everyday.
Two weeks of running 5km to 10km at 6 in the morning can be quite a chore.
Especially when there are days when you have additional physical trainings added in to your schedule.
Seriously, you really feeling like getting a PLD or somethin. (Permanent Light Duty)
Oh wells, but life goes on still.
have to abit garung sometimes....

My Saturday,
which was essentially yesterday,
had been devoted to attending the open house at Ntu...
Went there with Alvin Nat and zhiyu,,,
Isit my overactive imagination, or does that place look a little like South View Primary/BPGHS/Anderson JC, BEFORE they were renovated????
TALK ABOUT DEJA VU!!!
oh wait i made a mistake the last school was never refurbished or anything like that.
=x

On a serious note i did some thinking and realized I have made some grave mistakes in the education pathway that I have chosen that has led me to where i am right now. (which is essentially nowhere)
Innately all along, I knew that I was more adept at the Languages and the Humanities than I was at the sciences or even mathematics.
Constantly over time, my grades showed a great disparity between these two constrasting disciplines of education but I refused to admit that i was fundementally inferior in any way to anyone in the Sciences that required great anaytical power and one had to meticulous to the last detail.
Humanities was my arena, the place where I knew that I was somehow empowered with the ability to accomplish more, but i disliked even that thought.
My results for the lauguages would be modest, Humans would put a smile to my face and then the sciences will almost certainly erase it away.
The brain overruled the heart and inestead i went for something that I thought was more pragmatic, more industry relevant, and also more popular, something everyone was going for.
The humanities to me all talk and no action, and at that time seemed no more than an asthetically beautiful, stylish and noble discipline, but lacking substance and answers.
It was a streotype, and i knew it.
And in believing in that so unapologetically I made one of the worst choice in my life.......
hahah...
This may have turned out to be a blessing in disguise though.
By leaving me no room to run I may have actually discovered how to use teleportation which may actually get me out of this trap I have drawn single handedly by myself.
And so I am more resolved than ever, to either do something in business in SMU, or to enter FASS in NUS, and perhaps shine in some area that I never had before.
The subjects?
Economics, Phsycology and Sociology by order of preference.
Now if u ask me I am taking my dismal results with a pinch of salt,
and looking forward excitedely to my uni days which is still another 2 years worth of wait.

With that I end my post and I really hope after reading this,
no reader will make the same mistake I did 4 years ago and choose something or someone that you disdain.
Making a choice is one thing.
Living with a choice is a seperate issue.
Embrace the true nature of yourself and select choices that complement and not conflict.

Someimtes in life,
trusting your gut feeling may just be the way to go. =)

2010-03-06T22:14:00.006+08:00

The oxymoron: Fighting Fate

So, the excitement has blown over rather quickly.
I still can recollect the intensity of the wait to the table where Mr Goh sat at his table, ready to hand over the imperial edicts that meant the world to some, and the end of the world for some others.
Indeed, this has been a very traumatic period of time to students who havent reached up to their expectations.
Some fell because of GP, some tripped over their 4 H2s...
Setbacks can change a person dramatically, for the better or for the worse.
One can either choose to dwell in their respective horror stories of ABCDE, or quickly attempt to construct a stairway of success outta that dark abysmal bottomless pit.

Some imagine grades with careers to be a straightforward point to point game, you either get them both, or you lose em.
To make matters worse, there is the natural human tendency to link their fate to that point, creating what i call the Pessimist's Snowball effect.
It goes on and on and on.........................................................................
Thing is, this tunnel vision allows no room for optimism, creating a vacuum devoid of any hope and bereft of the slightest desire to do better.
With that being said, telling this to a crestfallen person would probably not change their attitude about their outlook of life.

I should know,
because everytime i emerge from an exam with unspeakable grades,
and when somebody tries their best to reassure and comfort,
my whole head will be swimming with thoughts like:
1) 'Knn you happy right...must be laughing in your head sia'
2) 'Tmd go away la so embarrasing'
3) 'Oh, not this again.....''

4) 'Better cover the mark using my palm so that no one can see.'
5) 'Maybe i calculate again maybe I never fail'

LOL kay the number 4 and 5 was a joke but what I was trying to convey here is a pessimist churns out the most negative of thoughts even when genuine words of comfort were intended to help the person move on.
Authentic offers for help will also probably be less than welcome.
If person at the receiving end does not want it, then theres no point really.

In the end, it still boils down to individual performance; how determined, how persevering, how tenacious and how motivated one can get.

Fighting fate is never easy.
But your presumed fate might not have been your eventual destiny.
I stauchly keep to my belief that there are no losers in this world.
but i also echo after the pessimist that there is no free lunch in this dog eat dog society (except for 2 years in NS u will get free breakfast and lunch and dinner but that shyt dun count!) XD
You have to work towards it.
Everyone will be behind you, no matter you believe it or not.
Jiayou~

and with this i end this post with the Nike slogan,
and my inspector's favourite command,
Just do it my friends.
=)

2010-02-28T01:30:00.001+08:00

*dear readers, note that there was a previous post on 27th febuary, 2010

In the closing days of Chinese new year, what other better way to end it than a visit to swu san's house?
hahaha.
It was fun la...
Big thanks to her mum for treating us to zhi cha!
really appreciated the generosity!
Strangely enough I found myself not on the same frequency when the guys started on their NS life~
Whoa its a great difference!
Just try to compare a revolver with a rifle or a stadium with a jungle. XD
One thing for sure though.
The style of our heads were homogeneous....
I wun blog anymore...not today...
kinda tired...
going back to camp tmr...

Clarence wishes every reader a happy chinese new year ahead! =)

2010-02-27T10:47:00.004+08:00

Just for Laughs
Many a time in a certain part of our lives, almost half of the singapore population need to master the skill of standing still. (called SSS in short)
Hence I was standing very still one morning and I came out with a list of wonderful techniques everyone can master with a set of clear instructions to follow.

The SSS

1) Amateur level

The rapid eye dart
In your unmoving positions, slightly try to rotate your eyeballs from left, front to right in order to get a glimpse of dangerous personnel that are around you. In this way, you can save your poor tensed up body the stress u put on yourself. In other words, u can slack. Once executed, this skill is normally followed by the gradual head movement.

Gradual head movement
Warning: This technique is to be used with extreme caution. Failure to do so may result in yourself kissing the ground. Your bisceps may hurt badly after that. Remember that it is a gradual movement and not a quick one. More effective than the rapid eye dart. When correctly carried out, you can have a 180 degrees view of the area around you. When you are certain that it is clear (Clarence's recommendation would be a locus of at least 5 metres and above), you can slack more than you can do so above. However, this skill is useless for getting visual information behind you (unless your retinas grows on your butt than I have nothing to say). Therefore, it is necessary to carry out the whisper.

The whisper
This is a type of communication skill. First, whistle to get the attention of the person (who is standing very still like you) in front or beside you. Perform the rapid eye dart or gradual head movement to ascertain that you have done so. The whistle is not to be done with a sound wave of a large amplitude as you still do not know the situation behind you. If u inadvertently whistle to a member of the dangerous personnel, just knock it down immediately, it will be useless defending yourself anyway. After u have safely done so, proceed by whispering in a very soft voice and retreive the intelligence you need regarding your surroundings. Sometimes, it may be impossible to get the notice of people around you as they are carrying out one of the advanced skills of the SSS. (this skill is known as the Sleep while Standing up Skill). In these kind of scenarios, it will be important to do a quick finger poke.

The quick finger poke
If u are sure that your partner is not fully awake, and u are desperately in need of precious information, quickly poke your partner awake with the same speed as u carry out the rapid eye dart skill. DO NOT poke too deeply as he may let out a cry of surprise which will almost certainly cause both of you to perspire more than you were required to do so that day. This is probably the most dangerous skill to perform at the amateur level.

2) Professional level

The Sleep while standing up skill

Once you are confident of carrying out the above techniques, you are ready to sleep! Do it in intervals of 15 seconds as anything more than that will be very risky. You wouldnt want to open your eyes and find another pair staring back at you. It provides the ultimate relaxation of your entire body especially if you awoke at 5 plus in the morning. If you're have isommia problems, then stare into the bald head of the person in front of you. His hair patterns should give you a hypnotising effect after u stare into it for 5 seconds.

The whole body stretch skill

This skill is good as u can displace your body from your orginal positions to stretch those cramped up muscles of yours. A great alternative if you are afraid of using the sleeping while standing up skill. Return to your postions after this.

Okay thats all i have for you all today.
hahahah.
Useful right! =D

If there are any doubts plz feel free to enquire...I'am currently still carrying out Research and Development to discover new methods to slack but if YOU have any new information plz give me the necessary details so we can share to everyone who needs it at this difficult time.

=)

2010-02-21T14:50:00.002+08:00

They say the speed of time depends on the perspective of one's situation.
When you're hands are immersed in hot water, seconds feel like hours.
when you're in front of your examination paper, hours turn into mirco seconds.

Now my life draws similar parallels to these two situations.
Weekends zip by before you know it and the 5 working days drag on and on and on and on and on............

Recently it seems everyone has been falling ill, including myself.
A violent cough has been ripping through my voice box for these couple of days and I had trouble even speaking.
A sore throat wrecked havoc in my throat and a persistent joint problem made me unable to perform simple reflexes such as bending of my knee.

Ismail (bunk mate) contracted fever which saw him packing his bags for home, Weijian stated in his blog he had a sore throat that tormented him, Joyce felt her temperatures rising, my cousin just recovered from the same aliments, and i do remember vaugely sien telling me she had cough or sore throat too.

Quite a long list of casualties we have dunt you think?

hahahah...
Looks like this chinese new year wasnt quite a merry one after all!
except for the doctors we visited of course.
LOL
I think they had a POP after we gave them consultation fees.
Passing out Party.
=.=!

Many have been complaining why the favourite topic among their male friends now (wheather it be conversations, virtual conversations, blogs and what have you) has been NS and almost nothing more than that.
hahah.
For a start, our 24 hours a day revolves round IPPT, tio tekkan, BMT, POP, POC, Physical training book in/book out and of course ORD (rocks).
So tell me, how can we even possibly avoid any one of those when thats the only things we've been experiencing all the while?

Perhaps the occasional relief comes when you visit the MO (medical officer) and get to briefly enjoy the television.
A great luxury when you are largely discconected with the technological world.
I enjoyed even just looking at the news! -----until I found out Arsenal lost to Porto in the same programme.
But lets be realistic....you cant be too happy still when you're sick but still cant rest on your mattress all the way till 7pm at night!
hahaha.

Shall stop here...
wanted to tell a story but no time left for me...
gotta get sufficient rest and stop using my brain too much! XD

And now...I'll get ready to immerse my hands into boiling water again.
See everyone five days later. =)

2010-02-19T23:40:00.003+08:00

Updates
Greetings readers once again.
New updates to be noted....there are some new additions to this site, which should be quite apparent to you by now!
They are primarily widgets, just something more to interest viewers and also create something more interactive perhaps? ...

I re-installed the hits counter...starting from the number 5000...so I can roughly tell how many are actually reading...
I hope I dunt need to explain the function of a clock, so I'll just skip that. (but if u really require an introduction I will gladly mail you an idiots guide for dummies over for you)

The little plus signs below the clock are basically for font changing.
You see, sometimes people who have some degree of myopia often come complaining that the size of my font is too tiny....and this tool allows you to change it, be it an expansion or contraction. Just click on it will do.

The picture slideshow explains itself as well....I wunt elaborate on that...

The last one....undeniably one of my favourite widgets, will be my Arsenal widget!
Arsenal fans!
This is to quickest way to get all the updates and latest news of the team!
XD

Life has been kind to me so far I guess.
Starting to finally adapt and nestle comfortably into my single bed every night after lights out.
My bunk mates are great people, easy to talk to and I really appreciate what we have done for each other so far.
hahaha.
Nobody created any trouble or nonsense that could potentially land us in any sort of confinement or punishment.
Whooosh....
Neither did anyone from Echo company as a whole do anything reckless to earn us any 'reward'
And I really hope it stays that way!
but i'am still not used to getting up at 5 am in the morn when the sun hasnt even risen.
Man, that feeling really sucks...

Now that I'am back on my comfy bed at home i'd better plan well for my weekends man.
Next week will be an awfully long one...

Will post a more lengthy post next time!
Sorry I cant really put up pictures! Just look at the mobile I'am carrying and you'll understand.
HAHA.

Will post in 1 or 2 days time...so stayed tuned! =)

2010-02-14T14:33:00.006+08:00

Flashback
Unknown time, Unknown territories

Behind Closed Doors

When they said just do it here, they really meant every syllable of every word.
The cautious ones would do the best they could to keep in line with the instructions given,
while the careless earned the wrath of the fitness instructors that were situated every corner in the compound.
It was impossible to move a hundred metres without seeing one of them, let alone trying to slack.

The place looked like a resort when seen from afar, and a gigantic sports complex viewed from inside,
but I always thought of it to be a prison in Guantanamo Bay with all its 'sports facilities' nothing more than torture device used to torment the frail.
Not that I was weak; I knew I was a fighter inside out, but as the days went by, the spirit wobbled, and coupled with muscle aches setting in into many parts of my joints the amalgamation of all these made me want nothing more than a decent break.
Even climbing the stairs to reach our barracks threatened to over exert our calfs that were screaming every time we lifted ourselves off a step.
The metal railings that lined both sides of the stairway came into great importance after just about 5 days after enlisting into this hellhole.

Vulgarities was the Zeitgeist where ever one went; they were spewed like bile once a mistake (or even when no recognisable mistake) was made, quite akin to the same thing a Boomer would vomit onto one if they ever inched too close.
(*Expression taken from Left For Dead, Xbox Game)
In the first few days I was considered very lucky to have avoided any individual attention by all the authorities at 'patrol'.
For a start, I chose the middle row whenever we practiced our drills; thus managing to get away with the small boo boos which I made from time to time.
Learning a new language was never easy, and to make things worse one had to decipher very quickly what the orders meant, make an automatic conversion from Malay to English in a fraction of a second, and carry it out swiftly.
Often I depended not on my hopeless attempts to figure out the commands, but my squad mates from the uniform groups.
It was much less mind boggling to react WITH the squad than to do it your own way.
But slowly, slowly, it became easier, especially when the drills were performed almost at all times of the day, whenever it involved moving from one place to another, we had to either march, jog, or stand at attention, and gradually the commands were engraving themselves on our minds.

I extended my stride, outpacing the ones that were still struggling to catch their breath.
Stamina was perhaps the only thing that was my forte.
Volleyball had groomed me into this.
but when it came to brute strength, I had none of that.
Perspiration trickled from my bald head profusely.
Sometimes would just move my palm over it to see the beads of water being flung out by my hair, just for the fun of it.
I felt the rhythmic thumping of my heart, thud thud thud...
moved with it, synchronizing with it, trying to increase the rapid cyclic effect that my legs made when I ran.

Strangely enough,
no birds hung from the trees as we jogged round the compound.
Perhaps they noticed the utter bizarreness of this place as well, I thought.

Suddenly the line in front of me stopped dead in their tracks.

'Finally!'

and made one last sprint for the finishing point.

2010-02-01T22:24:00.005+08:00

*Lyrics for this amazing song can be found at the bottom of this post. Its time for miracles! Like I dunt know....wishing that Clarence is ugly would make a darn good one. =D

Before

After

**************************************************************************

Conclusion: My face is still crooked. @.@

The last goodbye ='(

So, tomorrow will be the day when my life will be physically altered from the time I wake to the bed I sleep on...
Ealier today large swathes of my hair was bulldozed mercilessly by Auntie's shaver,
and after I stepped out I look uncannily like Chubby sent for an extreme grooming session.
ARGH.

Just yesterday I spent my remainding hours on Planet freedom marching the streets of Somerset with kokli weijian jianyu kaisheng swusan weini yifang vivien....
Soccer fans,
attention!
If you are looking for some football mermorbilla,
that place is a great place to search.
They have amazing designs of football shirts, for one.
hahaha.
ARSENAL!

And now I lay on my lovely bed....wondering how would it be like to have no choice but to position myself 90 degrees to the axis of the bed.
(You see, when I snooze it is geometrically possible for be to rotate 360 degrees without worrying about myself falling off it)
FREAK.

Oh, actually just a few hours ago I have also discovered how soothing it is to pat your head after it has been reduced to mere strands...
SHUANG!
Not to mention how fast it dries up after you take a shower...
I estimate that the water evaporates instantaeuously from the second you lift the shower head away from your head. XD

Hey wait a minute...
WHY SHOULD I BE APPREHENSIVE???

After all,
I'am going home. =)

*For the less intellectually inclined,
this joke refers to the fact that the camp I'am enlisting into tmr goes by the name of
'HOME TEAM ACADEMY'

Zai jian le, da jia.

Time for Miracles Adam Lambert, 2012 theme song

It's late at night, and I can't sleep

Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe, thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God, I wish I could make you see

'Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love

No, I ain't giving up on us
I just want to be with you
'Cause living is so hard to do

When all I know is trapped inside your eyes
The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see

'Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love

Baby can you feel it coming?
You know I can hear it, hear every soul
Baby, when you feel me feeling you
You know it's time

Baby you know that maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that maybe it's time for miracles

'Cause I ain't giving up on love

No, I ain't giving up

No, I ain't giving up on us

2010-01-27T23:53:00.000+08:00

S9111532H, your enlistment date is on 02/02/10.
Msg from CMPB

2010-01-26T18:31:00.004+08:00

And I'am being left out for everything.
never belonged anywhere.

These masquarading menaces make me sick.

I closed one eye and moved on,
but collided with it time and again.

Perhaps unless if I'am the one organizing an activity,
I'll probably never find myself participating in one.

Blackspectrum

He stands alone more than ever
And he's scared.

2010-01-17T21:00:00.002+08:00

Perhaps I'am just better outside the picture

2010-01-17T11:53:00.002+08:00

Tired sia.
hahaha...

2010-01-13T21:11:00.002+08:00

I may be away for 2 months and two years. =x

2010-01-12T19:34:00.001+08:00

This is argubly the best holidays EVER~ ~ ~

2010-01-12T01:59:00.000+08:00

My life is about to reach a dramatic turn

2010-01-09T21:48:00.001+08:00

YEA. We sang LJ songs at vivien's house! Oh wait. The correct statement should have been...We sang LJJ songs at vivien's house. hahaha....K lame...

Just look at all of our faces when the hokkien songs were on air! Its like

>>>(-.-)?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??

*Many photos above are courtesy of facebook

So it was two activities packed in a single day,

unless you're counting the journey wj, km and I made to zhi kai's place to present him his birthday gift...

which was belated for like a week~~~~~

However note that ray was also involved in the paying of that purchase too.

Dunt like feeling typing much today.

wahahahah.

but just want to thank Lucas for bringing a sand bottle from Egypt for me (mummies were apparentely out of stock), Joyce for bringing back some keychain from Japan, and Crys for a errr...animal bookmark from S.Africa.

I will buy a Merlion sovenir from Sentosa in exchange someday!

Oh ya and also vivien for being such a kind host.

Directed me to the nearest bus stop without having me to get wet on that rainy day.

hahaha.

Yes,

and to all January babies once again,

*Generating list

-Ray

-zhikai

-Joyce

-Humin

-Yumei

- Jianyu

-Yanshuang

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONCE AGAIN! =)

2010-01-07T23:22:00.003+08:00

Thrilling Projections

Greetings to all readers once again.

As you can imagine, ghimmy must be doing his rounds or perhaps setting up a tent in some remote island at this very hour as you guys are comfortably behind your computer screens reading this post.
hahahha.
Its hard to think that in a month or so, many of us will be packing our bags and leaving home sweet home for that too.
A little excitement, a little apprehension and also a little eagerness is what have been gripping me for this once- in- your- lifetime experience.
I really wonder how it is like to have your freedom restricted and your every action monitored for every single period of the day!
Will I be able to keep up with their training?
hmmmm....
Looks like we'll have to wait to find out!
I would not need to worry about the travelling fees though,
after a bus ride with ray n wj that was heading to jp,
I am pretty sure that my travelling expenses to the Home Team Acadamy will be reasonable and definately not as heart wrenching as MOST of you. =ppp
Its Old Chua Chu Kang after all!!
Damn, I'am sure a lucky ass!

Oh wait.
I seemed to have left out the emo-ness that i will feel when the Black Forest on top of my head will be cleared indiscriminately to adhere to the strict regulations that they stipulated. =(((

Met up with Junyang and Ber today.
Junyang dyed his hair, which was quite cool.
heh.

Ok more fun activities coming up fast!
Remember to check out this place after a couple of days!

Anyway, i did some wandering in facebook and found out that Mr Vincent Goh (pictured below), yea our chem tutor,
is an excellent photograhpher! He has some photos in facebook that is in an album and all of his uploaded pics are either breath taking or inspiring. Its like...every part of the photo just appeals to you asthetically....and reaches out to your senses I couldnt post all of them (obviously) but I think I can help his flaunt his photographic skills for him! =D
Sorry for my chem paper though. @.@
dui bu qi ni le~~~~~~

Its amazing what an SLR can do!
Hope Clara and ZA follow in their footsteps!
XD
Good day everyone
and goodnight

2010-01-04T19:29:00.000+08:00

Wow I look like a total bad ass in the first photo!
And omg I kind of like it! =x
Well that was courtesy from Mr Gan's SLR...
That thing seriously shines a different light on ordinary scenes...
And makes extraordinary amazing photos (like the first one) look even greater!
hahahah.

Alright alright.
2010 has brought some pretty bad news for us.
For example: the adult fare.
I never thought twice about tapping my card on that money sapper in the past, but now, when it is practically leeching us a buck at a time, some of us will prefer to take bus 11 if it is not too inconvinient.
Whats bus 11?
Your pair of legs.

To my irritation,
my windows live messenger that had somehow ceased to function a month ago hasnt got any better....
Windows is....very very scheming....
Even the process of uninstalling that windows component has been made difficult!
They actually disabled the uninstallation shortcut and made it impossible to uninstall it from the Control Panel itself.
It took me almost 2 hours to scour the internet for a possible solution...
When I finally had my hands on it, and managed to uninstall n reinstall it,
I nearly broke down crying.
And guess what!?
It did not help.
@#$#@%$^$%^#@$@#$@#%#$^$%^$$&^$

Oh yes!
After so many days of dwelling in a decadent lifestlye,
I figured I needed to burn some calories and also fufil my new year resolution (number 2).
I hadnt planned in advance any of the exercises below, but somehow, the sequence of activities that happened in 3 consecutive days have inadvertently become my exercise regime, something I'll certainly need for my enlistment that will arriving in almost exactly a month's time.
1st day: Swimming with Wj and kokli
            FAQ: Wj completed 3 laps while I was doing my 2nd.
                       That makes me a sea turtle!
                       GET IT?!?!?
                       hahahahhaha!
                       -.-!
                       never mind......
2nd day: Gyming with yc and ray, and a subsequent visit to the track for some stamina builiding
              FAQ: Zp's superset training was useful here.
                        The ultimate torture for your muscles.
                        Try it!
Oh yea...drink some protein while you're at it ok! XD (iniside joke)
3rd day: Badminton with Wj
             FAQ: That happened today. LOL. Basiallcally we didnt use the court we booked at all.
                       Instead we were out challenging anybody who were holding a racquet in their hands.
                       With....satisfactory results I guess....

So many have their birthdays on the month of January,
I'am currently having a bad headache....
If I were rich,
I wouldnt hesitate to buy anything.
But after a month of spendings,
I'am so broke that I cant even pay attention!
FUNNY RITE!

Ok, last joke of the day.
Observe this conversation between me and weijian.

WJ: Hey after that want go subway??
Me: My god, I havent gone to that place since last year!!!!

Kua kua kua~~~~

2010-01-02T02:23:00.003+08:00

ROCKFEST ~~2009~~

So guys, its over.

2009, the year when most of us have spent our lives as a eighteen year old.

The last day of 2009 has proved to be quite a memorable one.

That very morning I scrambled out of bed and somehow found myself staring at the calendar, which held the last page of the year.

Found it to be rather symbolic, so I decided to snap away with the help of my Casio.

We are offcially closer to 2012 and our cataclysmic end.

Although any song from Miss Taylor was starting to sicken my mind,

(in fact I'am so affected by this I decided to change my blog song)

it was still a delight to see helpless people struggling to figure out how to hit the notes that were raining down from the top of the plasma screen,

and also the singers' musical intepretations of all the songs that were available on Band Hero.

xin ku ni le my speakers. wahahhaa.

Luck was certainly not anywhere near though,

and this was made awfully apparent when I started to play Majong.

All my 'tai's were not where they were supposed to be.

Is this some portentious warning to the start of 2010!

I hope not!

Later into the day, the area around majong table was used for a more sinister purpose,

an interrogation table where Mr Goh was forced to part with his deepest secrets.

Of course he didnt reveal anything eye popping anyway,

so that was a waste of time. hahahaha.

The girls tried to remake Ghimmy's hair

------Probably the very last moments of it--------

(*will be pronounced gone on the 4th of Jan)

and the end result was....................

what u have in the photograph.

*insert comments into tagboard plz.

hahahaha.

We rocked till 11plus and soon it was time for the countdown.

Channel 5 was selected

We hollered into 2009's last moments till our throats hurt,

and a new point the timeline began instaneously

as we looked into the television to see fireworks light up the night sky in another part of Singapore.

Mintutes later,

the remaining page left on the calender I had snapped in the morning was ripped away by Miss Gan,

and, in the hands of Tan Kok li,

proudly shown to the rest of the world.

2009-12-29T03:26:00.005+08:00

Its been a long time since I really sat down and put my heart in writing a decent post.
Two twenty in the morning and I'am still wide awake thinking of stuff that has been bothering me for a considerable number of nights.

I would like to thank all those who tried to lift my spirits in this particular period of time; people who tagged, people who messaged, people that asked.
You guys seriously rock.

The emo-ness that has been blanketing me finally backed off, to my relief.
My expensive retreats to the pool table and bowling alleys paid off, and it really helped to take my mind off things.

I have been trying to find new angles, new perspectives to look at things, perhaps putting myself in people's shoes.
But everywhere I searched, I still found umistakable disappointment.
I somehow find myself brushed away, like a irritable housefly, an insignificant bug.
And the hand that swept it away from your shoulder did some incontrovertible damage to the fragile lines that keeps friendship together.

Still, you can get pretty lucky sometimes.
Mum said the invoice wasnt submitted for some reason, and there wouldnt be any problem cancelling the order.
Then again, I was probably damn unlucky on the other hand to even need to do that in the first place.

Ah, enough melodrama for one day.
The new year is coming, and I figured I'd probably talk about the new year wishes I will have for the year 2010.

New Year Aspirations: Top 5, in no particular order

1) Be a better person

     The heading is too general for anyone to guess what aspect of my personility I will want to be building on. You remember the times where your teacher will hand out a pile of dumb self reflection surveys for students to complete? They're actually, quite useful if one puts in effort. But in my opinion schools are just wasting their time by forcing things out of students. haha. k enough said.
      Now that I will have a steady flow of income once I enter the army, perhaps I want to be more trifty, less selfish and more generous. I used to ( and still ) admire those who are able to slot their coins into donation boxes without having to feel the pinch at their wallets. It is this act of giving that intrigues me, and I still find it hard to follow suit. Excuses just pop out and you will stroll away reassuring yourself : 'Hey he'z just another fake'
     Those who'd hang out with me will know an aspect of me that is much harder to accept. I value my face very much. The effect from this undesirable trait is that I also find it very hard to apologize even if I know I'd done wrong. If I do, I'd will just shut up and walk away. Its a bad habit, and I'am still trying hard.

2) Switch Flab for Fab
    After Volleyball trainings permanentely ended about a couple of years ago, I have unwittingly plunged myself into a life of sedentary activities, and hence also reduced physical exertions. No, I cant possibly do a 2.4 run if u asked me to now, and I will already be contented with being able to put my chin 6 times above the bar at current rates. Now it gets worse. With no priorities except enjoy, play and slack (which are all actually the same thing), I'am submerged into a hedonistic lifestyle. Wake up late in the morning(or early noon), find some ppl to go crazy together, stare at the monitor till late night, then tucking under my blanket in an unearthly hour.
    Friends have recently commented about the >>flabbiness/chubbiness/nutrition value of my stomach. I admit, it isnt anything to be proud about. But its still a far cry from what I was in primary school. Now, I need a greater change. And this two years will be the best time to get rid of those unwanted flesh.

3)  Preserve age old traditions

Hmmmm....what does it mean?
Okay.
Take a look at these.

*above Chrismas 2006.

Holy we all look so noob.

ER hem. I mean you all look so noob. XD

Christmas 2007.

Christmas 2008

*******If u dunt know what year is this plz just......OKAY OKAY. Christmas THIS YEAR. HAPPY?! And I realized something else too! We rotated round the house to take photos every single year! =x
2010 we use storeroom.
2011 we use toilet
2012 wouldnt matter coz the world would have ended before Christmas anyway. =p

4) Obtain reasonable results and avoid being a nurse
I have obviously no control over the marks I can get now at this time. Maybe if I were a time traveller like Hiro Nakamura I will go to the past to fix my messed up chem paper. And maybe I'll go to the future as well as see if I really wear a pink suit with a red cross emblazoned over my uniform while I'am on duty. I DUNT WANT TO BE A NURSE!!!!!
But I really hope for the best.
Just give me 2 As 2 Bs.
It'll be like I have been reborn.
LOL.

5) Work on relations
After what happened I'd probably need to spend alot alot of time on this.
hahaha.
In a nutshell,
I still dunt want to lose anyone of you guys yet. =)

Okay its really really late, like, 330 in the morn.
I really need to catch up on my sleep.
Blackspectrum wishes all readers a very happy 2010.
May all asperations become a reality.

2009-12-25T23:51:00.013+08:00

Christmas Blues
I feel cheated by everyone
Its like they're so distant already

Its high time you thought for your ownself before u think of sharing the joy of Christmas, dude.
Now I need to figure out how to grow a stomach of 3 times the orginal size,
and beat a heart so cold I'll dun even remember being hurt.

Guess thats what they call Cold Turkey on Christmas day

Faith misplaced

vball party was awesome though.
Thanks you guys. =)

2009-12-25T23:41:00.000+08:00

2009-12-25T17:23:00.000+08:00

"Imagine what the world could be if everyone started to put people's priorities before their own."

2009-12-23T02:20:00.001+08:00

Strange Surprises, New Beginnings

At the stroke of twelve,
many things change.
It is a new day;
the very intermediate between today and tomorrow.
For some,
it is a whole new year with regard to the day they were born,

With Christmas fast approaching it came as a double celebrations for this particular birthday girl.
Some people just know when it is good to be born! XD

After paying a visit to Ray's household and investigating his apartment from his bedroom to his cupboards (and learning that he has four bolsters at home which he can alternate between everyday),
we travelled to Mega Mall of the West, JP where their epic journey begins.
Now you must be wondering, 'their?'

Yea. In fact my journey in JP began the day before with Bernard,
in search for both Christmas and Birthday presents,
hence the entire map of Jurong point,
every nook and cranny that it hides,
are all very etched in my mind.
I toured the whole mall intensely for a frighteningly two days!
hahaha!

But I'am still glad that I managed to find what I wanted,
and I'd think Ber yc and ray will feel the same way as well.
That thing sitting in boon lay can really put up a fight with Vivo.

Anyway,
I was in for a very shocking surprise on the first day I went on my shopping expedition with ber.
Imagine,
you walk into a stall preparing to comb the stall for a birthday gift,
when suddenly the birthday person appears in front of you asking how may he/she could help you.
Thats exactly what happened that day and things really could not have been more coincidental.
hahaha.
Ber's jaw was like hanging open when I told him who was inside.
(I saw liying that day and Sim the day after, JP's swarming with familiar people really. I havent even mentioned the whole batch of cousins who waved to yc wildly after they met.)

Okay, I shall stop here for now.
230 in the morning. hahaha.
I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Goodnight everyone,
Santa Claus is coming to town. =)

2009-12-17T15:51:00.000+08:00

Great. I finally uploaded all the photos that i have while reading my library book.

A great many have chosen this week for an overseas trip, and this list is rather long...
-Alvin (Genting)
-Kok li (M'sia)
-Sien (M'sia)
-Lucas (Egypt, sliding down the spine of the spinix)
-Ben (Forgot)
-Raymond Tay Yew Long (Did a catwalk down the corridors of his hotel which he recorded in facebook)
-Joyce (Taiwan n Japan n i hope she doesnt come back. k kidding.)
-Zhi An (Eating sushi)
-Crystal (S.Africa, her choice of an overseas trip confounds me till this day)
-The PJ vball team (M'sia. I seriously doubt they only went there to train)
-Lu Lu (came back from PJ vball team trip n is planning to pang seh us for Christmas Party by flying to Taiwan)

Holy Hell. It is like S'pore is becoming inhaibitable or something. Everyone is evacuating. Lucky I still have people like me who are stuck on the island like Yong chee and Nicholas.
Never mind, talk some other time then.

I'am lazy.

2009-12-14T21:28:00.006+08:00

With Christmas round the corner, preparations are already underway for Christmas 2009. =)

Star light, Star bright?

Post A level life has seen no end of enjoyment for many of us, but it has also created a kind of boredom that we could not have conceived before the exams ended.
Now that Prom is officially over, my exercise regime can finally kick into full swing, and at the same time prepare for the much anticipated Christmas celebrations.

Watching meteor showers was never my favourite kind of hobby, due to my short attention span, but just yesterday I headed to west coast in hopes of catching a glimpse of this rare astromnomical activity.
Supposedely the peak of few days, kaisheng had concluded from his knowlegeble brain.
And he would have been correct,
if not for the angry red skies that were covered by the thickest of clouds, allowing only the faintest of light penetrations from the distant stars.
As such the chances of us seeing anything worthwhile was as small as seeing Chubby rejecting food.
Nevertheless, jianyu and kaisheng were two of the lucky ones who managed to see a streak of light for a very brief moment, while weijian and I were probably fast asleep on the cold, tar ground.

Its odd, but as my body lay on the floor and my head staring into the skies, I felt a little scared, and a little awe.
The sky was vast, almost too vast, and dark, becoming even itimidating for me to stare for a prolonged period of time.
Suddenly I had huge amounts of respect pouring out to the creator of the whole universe.
I cant put it into words...its just inexplicable seriously.
It stragely parallels the same emotions as I stared out into the sea when I was on the motor boat with chee yee during our scuba diving trip.

Although I didnt catch anything interesting, I did enjoy the cool sea breeze that swept the ground as we lay, searching for a piece of flaming rock that was another piece of our huge, unknown universe.

2009-12-11T03:05:00.022+08:00

The moment

If I were to describe each and every photo taking session in my post during D&D, it will prove to be incredibly inane and probably bore everyone to death. (Since most of you looking at this will probably have gone anyway) Instead, I'll focus on the more individual events that happened and of course talk what we did for post prom. XD

First of all, the theme of the day was Aint Just Couture, which almost no one followed very strictly, if they took into account that at all. The closest that one got was a complete outfit of a clown ; Dyed curly hair coupled with a red nose. For a moment there I thought he was a walking exhibit put up by the J1 coucillers.

The preparations few hours before the event was brilliantly and meticulously well planned- by me! =D

Kokli, choonboon and alvin arrived exactly when we wanted to, 6pm, and we reached in style- in a mercedes taxi of which the lisence plate and cab fare I still remember (3882 and a whopping 30 bucks)

And like anybody who just arrived at the Mertitus Mandrin Hotel, bolted to the lavatories for very obvious reasons.

Alvin commented that we were like trying to sort out battle amour.

He was right. Everything was so tightly wrapped round our bodies that they did not seem to be made up of cotton at all.

And as you can imagine, trying undress to pee and then putting them back on was also a diffcult task, even for a guy. LOL. Sorry for the graphic details and I hope you didnt visualize any of that. =p

Arriving on time didnt mean that we arrived at the desired time though.

A lot more was either late or purposely late and it left me stranded on the lobby like a bai chi (pardon the chinese pun) awaiting the grand arrival of my class friends while alvin choonboon and kokli attended to their friends who unlike mine chose to arrive earlier.

And this equates to

My other frens = Latecomers.

oops.

Time ticked and the two tall ones finally came on the scene.

By that I mean the Yongli and Nich, the ppl who searched high and low in bugis and Far east and helped me find a discover a 'Qian Lan Se' shirt to complement my white-hot outfit. =x

And yes, they bolted to the washrooms as well.

2nd time to that place already.

Kua kua kua....

Okay, this gettin a little boring for you?

Fast forward in progress

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

End of prom.

Just kidding!

Now you see me flanked by both nich and crys, wondering how to use the napkin in front of me.

When I finally figured out that it was simply just putting it on your lap, I also found out that it blended right into me.

Well, it was white........

The food, I have to say, was not up to expectations though, and my expectations were not even high.

Perhaps the mass serving of about 300 to 400 ppl in the ballroom probably accounted for the decrease in quality of the food, but really....My mum.......no my grandma can do better than that!

Seriously, they should give my mum a chance to replace those overpaid chefs. hahaha.

But I was starving at the time so I decided to overlook this and I ate a little more than I should. XD

We sat like right in front of the stage, and I must say I was real lucky.

Although my level of short sightedness is not drastic, it would not have warranted me a clear view of the stage if I was sitting at some ulu place like where Clement and frens were.

Even so, I had to utilize my camera as a piece of zooming device to help me see what was really going on on the stage. At the same time, I recorded videos. Genius right?

Kill two cukoobirds with one stone.

If lucky draws were given to lucky people,

most of the people I know of must have been terribly unlucky.

Well, only Clara got a free buffet voucher. What was funny was the fact she didnt need it anyway LOL, considering her financially-extremely-well -off status.

Guys got almost close to zero chance of winning anything, although the draw was supposed to be random.

So, we need to get a dose of some Felix potion quick, luck is not our side, esp the males.

Oh I was too lazy to vote for any of the contestants for prom king and queen.

The only male I knew more about was Jason from 19/08.

He was the one who would come into the toilet every school day while I was inside taking my daily dump, or baking a cake as most of you will call it.

The games that they played was amusing at best, but not terribly exciting.

As we watched, the girls sitting around the same table went to the toilet like several dozen times, as though washrooms had some divine aura which could repair anything that was imperfect that was on their heavily layered & powdered faces.

wahahahha. I do love suaning ppl alright.

The video montage was rubbish alright, because they featured too much on nich and none on me.

From GP, you will learn that the word 'too' has a negative connoctation.

Do your own deductions and you will arrive at the conclusion that......

Ok but I like the interviews with the canteen vendors though.

It really gave that heartwarming feeling when you see the auntie that served you food everyday wishing you all the best for As for the future.

I broke down and wept.

YA RIGHT.

Where were we...oh yes...soon the whole thing ended and we were free to go.

What followed was either a mad rush into the dance floor or a mad rush out of the ballroom.

You will have proabably guessed which way I headed anyway.

Took more and more photos and my last was a photo with sihao..hahaha.

All in all, I will like to thank Yongli and Onzen and every other tall person who bent down to take photo with me without which the photos will not be possible.

Now....for post prom....

Gypsies of the Night

And we were blasted outdoors,

away from the freezing temperatures of the hotel.

All of a sudden, the suit that protected me much from the cold became a liability,

inducing profuse perspiration as we walked down Orchard which was adorned with Christmas decorations.

Our striking outfits made it hard to avoid the gaze of curious onlookers.

Our immediate purpose was to find a place to rest, talk and of course, drink.

City hall was a good place to start our search and it was there that we began our adventure.

The night was still young, and so were we.

It was not as easy as it seemed though,

the places that we scouted were either catered to adult adults, or not 'condusive' enough.

Finally we settled in a Spanish club called 'Vivada, if I do not remember wrongly.

We sat in very comforatable sofas, and it was a relief after combing the city hall area with nothing more than few cm between my feet and the contours of the hard ground.

The shoes I wore didnt exactly provide me with the level of protection that I was used to.

The girls were worse off I guess, they probably drilled a hole through their soles with all that pressure.

There, it was a fresh world of beer, liquor, cocktails, whiskey and rum.

I should say, the names of the cocktails were fairly unique, some of them very explicit.

But that surely didnt not prevent Crystal & Sien from ordering a 'Sex in a beach' and Joyce, Bloody Mary.

Everyone taste tested them of course, and turned out that the former was fruity cocktail that was actually pleasant to drink while bloody mary was a crimson red drink with tomato paste and other distasteful ingredients in them.

Looks like the name of the drink can really convey a lot of messages.

It did not stop there however, soon, the girls ordered me to order a blowjob.

#$@#%#$%#^$%$%#$%#^$%^$&%^&%U*&&$#$@#$#@$@$@$!$$#@%#$%

I called for one...and the waiter bent down and.......

What the **** were u peverts thinking!

He bent down to get the menu!

Damn, you guys should cleanse your minds man!

Alcoholic coffee with whipped cream on top.

That was what Blowjob was all about.

When there was a little drink left in the glass, I told them I will suck them all.

They told me that sounded very wrong.

Gosh...people these days.....

A surprise visit by Alvin his friends came and they sat right beside us.

They were much more daring, (nt to mention very very wealthy)

We looked on as they brewed a concoction of redbull and vodka and played games I did not really understand.

hahaha.

Most of them were 'very very sober' at around 2 plus.

In fact, the five of us were on standby mode in case they could not make it. LOL.

Sien left us at 2 plus.

Soon it was time for the pub to close their doors and we stepped out into the open air.

Outside, we searched for Night Rider in vain, as we didnt want to have a hefty cab fare considering the time of the day.

When there was no viable transport, we decided that we will roam the streets for a till morning.

A vast amount of time was spent posing for pictures in front of lovely christmas trees that had all of their lights out. -.-!!

We went from hotel lobby to lobby, just sitting on couches and talking about stuff.

It was also great to feel the cool night breeze as your face made contact with the moving air.

The night air is really different.

We spotted a 7 11 store and it was already 4 by then.

Bought poker cards and played bridge till 6. ( in which I won almost every one of them) WHOOOOO

And i did it by not playing professionally. =p

In fact i did it while consuming my breakfast.

We continued our aimless journey once the sun was starting to show its radiant face

It should not have been surprising to discover Bugis after all that walking, but we were still amazed and proud of our achievement nevertheless.

It was not long after we walked out of Bugis street,

and the rays from the fireball met our faces as if signifying a whole new beginning.

--------------------------------------------------End----------------------------------------------

2009-12-02T12:04:00.003+08:00

Its a typical Wednesday morning, and I'am lying on my bed having nothing better to do so here I am again.
During the period of the As, I had come across many new inspirations and experiences which I wish to share but had no chance of doing so.
One of which came when I was perusing the papers one fine day when I came upon a particular section in 'Mind Your Body' which I found very intreresting and relevant to all of us.
This is not meant to be some philosophical debate and I urge everyone to read on as I'am sure you've experienced it for yourselves as well.

Schadenfreude
It is a feeling no stranger than joy, happiness, sorrow or rage, but it is often ignored due to the fact that we all do not want to admit it.
Schadenfreude is German, representing the twisted delight one derives from seeing a fellow being's sadness.
It is the kind of happiness you will want to conceal beneath your hypocritical face as you reassure your friend that everything is going to be alright, when you arent really concerned at all, but instead, quite satisfied with it.

A quote I somehow came across on my ipod sums this up pretty succinctly
"NEVER tell your problems to anyone...20% dont care and the other 80% are glad you have them."

Well, first and foremost I will not recommend this advice to anyone having suicidal thoughts as evidence up to this day still suggests that it will be more benign to your mental health even if you are pouring words of grief into the ears of your realatively unconcerned friend.

Unless you're a saint sent down from heaven to save the world, I'am sure everyone had their moments of Schadenfrede from time to time.
The most recent memory that I have regarding this not-so-noble feeling would be the period of the As.
During the discussion of answers I could not help but feel a tinge of relief and even joy when someone came up to me and told me they got the wrong answer.
And after I screwed my chemistry paper, I was DELIGHTED when everyone complained that it was a killer paper.
Schadenfrede to its highest degree.
Of course, I reproached myself after that.

It is in all of us to habour such shameless thoughts after witnessing someone's fall.
Dunt worry, you're not on your way to become the devil incarnate, but its just part of who you are.
The more important issue here is how you deal with it.
Do you bask in ecstatic delight, or do you censure your own actions?
That is what I think matters the most.

Schadenfrede or not, I'am running late for my hot date with nich, LOL, to buy prom stuff, so I'll put an adrupt end to this post.
Meanwhile, I would love it if anyone posted their moments of schadenfrede on my tagboard in response to this entry, and this place can become more interactive instead.

Also, enjoy the background music sung by Taylor Swift. (my idol LOL)
Here are the lyrics below

You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, shes upset
Shes going off about something that you said
Cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do
I’m in my room, it’s a typical Tuesday night
I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like
And she’ll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find what you’re looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can’t you see
You belong with me, you belong with me

Walkin’ the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn’t this easy

And you’ve got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you’re fine, I know you better then that

Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
Shes cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I’m the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can’t you see

You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you drivin’ to my house in the middle of the night
I’m the one who makes you laugh, when you know you’re ’bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me ’bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it’s with me

Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can’t you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time How could you not know
Baby you belong with me, you belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me
You belong with me

2009-11-25T21:17:00.000+08:00

The Last Days of ~~Alvls~~

Two Worlds Apart

Blackspectrum is about to start his hardcore blogging again.
After months of burying my head in those detestable books and lecture notes,
its finally a new lease of life again.
Ok, so, A lvls is not officially over.
Who cares anyway?

Alright, my form of celebration after such a major examination was rather weird, but I went to the theatres to observe the world ended (or will be going to end) in 2012.
It so totally makes sense.
The fissures rupturing the earth, towering tsunamis sweeping cities and volcanoes spewing fireballs were just some of things that endangered the hopes for 'the continuity of mankind'.
Devastating as those effects were, I actually found it gorgeous to see how Mother Earth threw her biggest tantrum of all.
That I can ensure the audience in the cinema couldnt agree more.
Other than that, it was still your typical, predicatable, feel good movie.
I enjoyed it nevertheless, after all, what could be more catastrophic than my messed up chemistry paper?

Cambridge offcially has dropped their bombs on the current batch of Ajc studensts by giving 'the worst batch in four years' the 'hardest chem mcq paper' of all time.
The first was a quote from our principal while the other was a quote from Clarence Lee Wen Jin. LOL
Nonetheless I would dare say that the entire cohort of Jc students will help out if i needed anyone to support my point.
My wish of having even a 'B' grade for chem virtually grew wings and flew away the moment I realized my folly.
HOW CAN ANYONE BE SO FOOLISH?!?

Yong chee said i sure full marks one.
Let me do something to that statement now.
Yong chee said I sure get Fool marks one.
ah, thats much better.

The past few days had been rhetoric.
It was the process of meeting yc, exhange opinions on how we were expecting to fail every subject, and going into the exam hall with little or no confidence, and then emerging from the exam venue affirming each others failures.

Absolutely brilliant, aint it? =x

Math paper 1 was particulary tough on us.
Not the paper, of course.
It was just the stress stemming from the expectations that it was a Must to obtain an A grade for it, since it was famous for being an easy paper.
Even Wei Jian smsed me telling me he was under pressure few hours before the actual thing. Which was. BALONEY. LOL.

But after the first shot was fired, the magazine depleted quite swiftly.
I quote,
Wei Jian's statement on facebook:
"A lvls is gone in the blink of an eye. You dun believe you blink now!"

Try it, it works wonders!!!
=.=

And so at last, the pressure was lifted almost as quickly as it was applied.
I only hope that my back which Ben described as having loads of "constellations" can get better soon, a consequence I had to bear for worrying too much about everything.

Cheers, my frens, to the end of your nightmares.

2009-11-23T18:14:00.003+08:00

Joke of the day

For each of the following questions in this section, one or more of the three numbered statements 1 to 3 may be correct

Decide whether each of the statements is or is not correct (you may find it helpful to put a tick against the statements that you consider to be correct).

The responses A to D should be selected on the basis of

A: 1, 2 and 3 are correct
B: 1 and 2 only are correct
C 2 and 3 only are correct
D 1 only is correct

1) In the Periodic Table, oxides of Clarence show distinct characteristics that makes them easily distinguishable. What characteristics are they?

1. Clarence is a loser
2 Clarence is a hopeless loser
3. Clarence is a hopeless loser that cannot shade MCQs correctly

Thinking process: Wa paing, this one i know one, this one so easy! confirm is 1, 2 and 3 all correct la no need to think one. aiya no need refer la. No time liao crazy. Like that option is D la confirm. Whoo easily one mark! ^^

"(D)"

Proceed to do other 10 questions with the same mindset.

.............................

Few minutes after exam

"Fuck"

2009-10-12T20:24:00.001+08:00

Blackspectrum is official closed for a month

2009-09-30T19:03:00.001+08:00

Whenever I'am in front of you,

I'am confronted with this strange juxtaposition of strong attraction and repulsion,

one which I ultimately,

will never reconcile.

The outward serenity and calm, cannot ever be polluted with the chaos within, or the face will tell the story of a tormented soul, forever failing to win over the slightest of attention from the person he cares the most.

--Blackspectrum--

Everythings topsy turvy now.

2009-09-23T22:29:00.002+08:00

2009-09-18T21:55:00.004+08:00

At world's end

"When panic runs amok, and urgency turns into desperation, to strike fear in every cell of one's body, will he discover that he has truly ruined himself through his own disintegrated self confidence, and tragically undermined his real potential."

-Blackspectrum's Self Reflections about his Prelims, and perhaps all major examinations that he has sat for--

Yes, after nearly a month of not logging into my blogger account, here I am again.
The mounting stress has taken a toll on everyone, I'am sure.
However, to work so hard and yet yield any visible results is simply infuriating, unsatisfying and ultimately demoralising. At least, that has been my experience so far.
All it has churned out is weariness and a changing view on how one perceives failure and success.
The very natural way for people to do it is to just label one according to the mark they have on their papers.
But is it, the best way to do it?

I feel stretched in everyway possible right now, and the bad news is its probably not the darkest hour yet.
Just two forthnights away, and I'll be sitting for the most testing moment in my educational path.
Which unfortunately will dictate where I go, what I do, and who I will be as I proceed up on the stairways of adulthood.
I do not deny, I have high hopes for myself.
Its just a basic requirement most people want for themselves.
Dignity.
We want to do well.
We feel the urge to outdo and outrun.
It is Darwin's Theory of Evolution.
Survival of the fittest.
And we enslave ourselves in the strictest of ways...discipline ourselves with the most unthinkable of methods.

And at the end road, we reach a final destination that we sometimes find deeply troubling and dangerously disturbing.
Thing is, it doesnt really lead anywhere, this mindless pursuit of qualifications.
But we jump in anyway, trapped in the whirlpool of forces in the form of societal expectations, peer pressure and the need for some self worthiness.
Maybe all we can do is to hang on to something sturdy so that we can not get sucked too deeply in.

On the other hand, the A lvls are ariving at full force, Clar.

You know that you have no choice.
You know that you have to take the dive.

2009-09-08T09:56:00.006+08:00

//My miseries add up vectorially, with a certain magnitude, but not in any specific direction that I can put my finger to//

2009-09-04T22:10:00.000+08:00

My life has been torn asunder,
and I cannot do anything to stop the fissure ripping through everything I do.

2009-09-02T16:46:00.002+08:00

And now, for the take off.

Bless You.

2009-08-16T09:58:00.002+08:00

wOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!1
Arsenal trashed Everton 6-1!
All the way Gunners!
XD

2009-08-15T20:31:00.001+08:00

I have been eating my greens lately.
Cooked over hellfire.
And yes,
its cancerous.

2009-08-06T19:25:00.016+08:00

Everytime I pick the phone, I put it down, wondering why a person who wouldnt look at me in the eye, will receive my words in the heart. ~Blackspectrum91

You're missing.

2009-08-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

Before I start this post, i want to say that blogger is thoughly screwed.
LOL.
Yea. thats the reason i couldnt post any pictures to add a dash of colour to my inreasingly dull life.
Now, I cant even change my font. =.=
But then again,
its a free service,
so I shouldnt grumble too much. hahahha.

Been meetin up with some old friends of mine, both intentionally and coincidentally.
It was good to see them.
Intersting to see how anliang lost his hair, ah jin getting a gf, and how junyang is metamorhphosizing into an encylopedia day by day.
There has been so little time to catch up, so little time to interact that i was almost lost for words when i saw jj at yck mrt station.
struggling to pull out words from my throat in fact.
Which...quite sad to say, made me quite guilty.
darn it.

School's starting to depress me.
lol, dun ask me y, its just the way things are.
Perhaps it is indeed true that the more contact you have, the more friction u get, as supplemented by evidence from newton himself,
more specifically his third law.
And maybe, I'll continue to remain lost until an external force acts on me, or else i'll be in the same direction, always.
I NEED MOTIVATION
oh.
so my sister and I....decided to stay at home on a weekday (interpret the piece of data yourself, its already very explicit)
To study.
We must be the first set of siblings to do that, together. >.<
Well, mum was okay with it, she never really bothers anyway. wooo...she rocks...
Hence I had a stomachache on that day...LOL?!

I suddenly want a vball party.
hahah.
Badly.

Just to give u an idea how inseperable I am from my lecture notes and tutorials, I'am logging of right now.
=/
cya soon guys.

2009-07-30T11:51:00.001+08:00

1st place!!!! =DD
Too bad yc and zp!!! wahahahahhahaha =p

2009-07-29T16:43:00.000+08:00

Hell, I'am a spitfire these days

2009-07-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

Today, my shades turned green

2009-07-27T18:55:00.001+08:00

Today, I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out

2009-07-25T13:23:00.000+08:00

Today, i played till my arms turned crimson.

2009-07-24T22:29:00.000+08:00

Today, I titrated tears with blood.
Dropwise

2009-07-13T16:24:00.004+08:00

Have u ever felt so angry in your life,
that you feel that you have the ability to destroy a punching bag?

But i dun have one at home.

So I'am destroying myself.

I only need someone to come along to tell me I'am not a failure as i think i am.
All evidence so far, states otherwise

2009-07-12T11:29:00.002+08:00

I'am so unpredictable,
I'am struggling to understand myself

2009-07-09T23:25:00.006+08:00

I knew it.
Didnt even have to try.
Now you know why,
I'am a pessimist

Into the dungeon where I belong.
Its just,
my fate.
You know what they say,
its just another shard into an already shattered heart.

I doomed, I guess, to write tragedies.

The missing link

Few months ago, approximately 2am, past midnight

Licking the matted fur on my body, as I listened to the rhythmic snores coming from the homo sapien beside me.
The bright lights from the construction work shone into the room,
illuminating it partially.
Occasionally, I shifted as a leg rammed into my body.
Maybe the floor was safer, but I liked the comfort that the mattress offered me.
So warm and...cosy.
Finally satisfied with the cleanliness that I gave myself,
I placed my head onto the bed,
and continued with my sleep.

Suddenly, the jingling of keys.
My ear prickled and stood on ends.
My first thought: 'Intruders!'.
I raised my head slightly and my nose picked up something.
Instinctively, I knew who it was.
'Master'

With my eyes half open, I leapt from my position, and landed unsteadily onto the cold porcelain floor.
I scampered out to greet master.
I liked him alot.
Was the only one that seem to give me a massage on the neck that didnt feel like a chokehold, and play catch with me using my favourite fluff toy.
Thinking of this, I ran a little faster on my four legs, eager to see him.
Past the sofa...past the tank...
My tail was already starting to wag violently, from side to side.

Under the dim light from the corridor, I could see that was already inside the apartment.
Funnily enough, his movements were even more unsteady than me.
I let my tongue run over his leg in affection, but he didnt respond.
Didnt return it with his usual high pitched greeting or pat on the head.
Then I saw it.
He was limping.
Sprained
and that disgusting smell.
Alcohol.
Without even taking a second look at me,
he clumsily hurled his bag on the sofa,
while continuing his handicapped walk to his own room.
Frustrated by the lack of attention, I gave chase, although the mechanism of a 2 legged movement was much swifter than what I was trying to do.
I slipped into the gap between the door and the wall just after it creaked to a close.
Master wasnt lying on the bed though.
He was upright, staring into space.
Using all the strength I had, I heaved myself onto the mattress as well.
Once on the bed, he started to stroke me, so very slowly, thinking hard.
His eyes was full of despair, hopelessness, and I thought something shimmered in them as the moonlight from outside streamed into the room.
After a couple of minutes, he started to push his body slowly downwards, whilst contining petting my back.
I didnt quite know how to perceive Master now.

His eyes already shut,
he croaked: 'Why?'

It was then I stood up.
The atmosphere was strangely eerie.
I quickly straightened my body, got up and ran out of the room

Damaged
Do, do you got a first aid kit handy
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound
Tell me, are are are are you, are you patient, understanding?
Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart
and II've tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me
Baby, baby this situation's driving me crazy, crazy
And I really wanna be your lady, lady
But the one before you left me so

Damaged, damaged, damaged, damaged,I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is Damaged,So Damaged, so damaged,
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (Baby I gotta know)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (What are you gonna do)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (Baby I gotta know)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (What are you gonna do)
Do, do you got a first aid kit handy
Do, do you know how to patch up a wound tell me
Are, are, are, are, you, Are you patient, understanding?
Cause I might need some time to clear the hold on my heart
and I
You try to gain my trust
Talking is not enough
Actions speak louder than words
You gotta show me something
My heart is missing some pieces
I need this puzzle put together again
Damaged, damaged, damaged, damaged,
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is Damaged,So Damaged, so damaged,
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (Baby I gotta know)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (What are you gonna do)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (Baby I gotta know)
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it (What are you gonna do)
Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t
Cause it's d-a-m-a-g-e-d
Can you fix my h-e-a-r-t
Tell me are you up for the challenge
Cause my heart is damagedDamaged, damaged, damaged, damaged,
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is Damaged,So Damaged, so damaged,
And you can blame the one before
Damaged, damaged, damaged, damaged,
I thought that I should let you know
That my heart is Damaged,So Damaged, so damaged,
And you can blame the one before
So how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged, damaged, damaged
My heart is damaged

2009-07-09T19:49:00.005+08:00

Lost
At some point of your life, you feel that bit of dejection.
Nothing happened, though.
But its precisely because of this that makes u morose.

You're cursed, Clar, admit it.
You're the kind that suffers through it all, and still continue suffering.
You're the type that desperately need that litttle breakthrough to make it all happen.
You think through every step that you make, and that is what pushes you to the brink of insanity.
Both studies and in relationships, I see the whole thing start its painful cycle over and over again.

Your blood is all over the place, but where is the victory I frantically need?!
Consolation prizes do find way sometimes. Whats the point?
They're peanuts, for that matter
Insignificant in their nature, they only succeed in lifting your spirits for that split second, then in a blink of an eye, you're reduced to rubble. Crushed under the burden of it all.

You grope in the darkness, trying to make sense of it all.
Take one step at a time, you say.
Steady yourself.
Calm yourself.
Think level headed.
But the dark envelops the whole of your soul
Eating your very being.

Sooner or later you are greeted with an uphill slope.
Your memory of uphill slopes aint too good.
From a distance you imagine the task of clearing the road, making a path through the dense undergrowth.
You shiver, as u have to do it alone.

Sooner or later,
You'd just walk away from it.

So I'am not going to do a thing.
Unless....
unless you want me to

2009-07-08T20:07:00.006+08:00

2009-07-07T22:37:00.001+08:00

Lets just pretend that was math

2009-07-07T22:33:00.001+08:00

Its frustrating.
To not know something.

2009-07-07T18:02:00.000+08:00

Just like chess, when you feel u made a move too many, you retreat

2009-07-01T16:54:00.002+08:00

Crestfallen
Throw me back into the dungeon